tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42628242177987048372024-02-20T10:09:03.189-05:00Maverick WritBooks and blog of author Mavvy VasquezMavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-18573714738900806212018-09-01T14:03:00.002-04:002018-09-01T14:05:30.395-04:00Is Anybody Out There?I've no idea if anyone is still following my blog. It's been a couple of years since I posted anything. Rest assured, I am still alive and doing my thing. I'm just taking a sabbatical from my online life for a bit. <i>The Truth Seekers</i> is still available in print and as an ebook, so I hope that those of you who enjoyed it will recommend it to a friend. I hope to be back in the new year with new work to share with you! Thanks for sticking with me!Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-44149302390445830642016-08-08T17:52:00.000-04:002016-08-09T15:13:51.809-04:00She Knows<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">She knows her grip is too desperate, too
needy, but she doesn’t loosen her hold on his hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">They are going out to dinner, and he has
reassured her she looks fine, twice at home, again in the car. His tone had
been more exasperated than appreciative that last time, and she winces at the
demands her insecurities place on him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">He always says she looks beautiful. He
always holds her hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Even so, she can’t quite believe him when
he says, “I love you.” It might have been true when his infatuation was new,
before she’d worn him down, tugging at him like a dingy being tossed by the
ocean. He is not the first person to serve as her anchor. Others have tried and
failed. Surrendered to it. She knows that one day the moorings will snap and
his safe harbor will vanish, too, as she is drawn back into the maelstrom. This
is the only truth she knows.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There are reasons he’s still at her side.
He’s an optimist, but in a relaxed sort of way that allows time to slip by
without bothering him. Her children have his eyes and curiosity. His children
have her hair and love of drawing. They are blended together in their small, socially
awkward, imaginative, living creations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">On the other hand, he is impatient,
frustrated when he is held back from something he wants to do. She holds him
back a lot. Some days, he goes on without her rather than work to bring her
along with him. One day he won’t come back. This is what she tells herself on
the black days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But today is one of her better days, so she
tightens her fingers around his palm and marches into the restaurant. The
whispers of thought that brush against her become less of an overwhelming
chaotic storm, like the one she’d fought against outside. Walking down busy
pavement through swarms of teenagers and judgmental suburban professionals is
never pleasant. Restaurants, at least the more dignified ones, are easier.
Diners tend to focus on their meals and companions. A thought or two might be
sent her way when she walks behind the hostess, winding her way down the path
between tables. She can handle that. It’s nice to have a reprieve from the
opinions and disdain that pour from other people’s eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Sometimes she forgets how to talk to him,
but this is a good day. They talk about world events, friends, and nonsense
that makes them both laugh around their forkfuls of pasta. Together they
entertain their server with the sort of patter-talk that used to trip off the
tongues of Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. The server loves them, their wit,
the welcome into their little bubble of irreverent amusement. It’s one of those
moments when she knows they’ve been labeled a “happy couple” in someone’s head
forever. She wishes she could bottle that feeling and carry it with them back
out into the world. She would open the bottle on the bad days, when she can’t
breathe from the pain of her helplessness, when he can’t quite find the
patience this time to react with understanding rather than irritation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Her illness has become a third wheel in
this relationship, and she doesn’t know how much more they can withstand. How
much more she can fight it. How much longer he can stay. But he still calls her
“beautiful”, so she clings to hope, and to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">She thinks that her biggest burden is
knowing she’s not quite sane. Her mental vision is forever impaired, tinted
nonexistent shades, and she can’t see clearly. This illness has wrapped her in
chains that lay so heavily on her, she cannot lift her body from the bed. But
she can still see all her potential, all her wasted opportunities, and all the
losses of friendships and dreams that have come and gone while she’s carried on
surviving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">One day she may not win the battle. She knows
that, too. It’s strange that it frightens her enough to make her feel safer, wearing
her terror like armor around her heart to protect her from herself. Using fear
to survive at the same time that it keeps her from living.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Most times when he attempts to drag her out
of the dim room of her inner sanctum, she tries to let him. Some days she hates
him for it. On the worst days, she hates herself too much to do more than keep
breathing for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">She has never been a crier, and when she
breaks down, it scares him. He brings her ice cream. He tells her why she is
worthy of love. He tells her he believes in her. He tells her he’s never going
to leave. He tells her about all the wonderful things that are worth living
for. He tells her he loves her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">She knows.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Depression lies. It’s not her fault. She’s
not a failure. She’s not unloved. She’s not weak for not conquering this awful
mountain of Can’t. She matters to people. She matters to him. Depression lies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">She knows.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">She holds his hand.</span></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-19589770645800614722016-07-16T21:47:00.000-04:002016-07-16T21:47:58.954-04:00White PrivilegeSo. White privilege. I read a really great <a href="https://goodblacknews.org/2016/07/14/editorial-what-i-said-when-my-white-friend-asked-for-my-black-opinion-on-white-privilege/" target="_blank">blog post</a> about this, and I wanted to add my own two cents to the mix.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I’m white. Like whiter than white. But my
children are Hispanic. Specifically, Mexican and Nicaraguan and indigenous/Native
American. This puts me in a weird situation as far as discussing civil rights
and racism, the same sort of situation as white parents who adopt
children of color (and of course other parents of biracial children). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I support Black Lives Matter and similar
groups trying to protect marginalized people in the US. As a child of the early
70s, I remember when race riots were still a topic of national discourse.
Things seemed to quiet down in the 80s and 90s. That’s not to say that racism
went away. It just got ignored again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But then, oh lordy, we got ourselves a
black President. People lost their minds. Obviously he had to be from Kenya because (apparently) that's the only place black people come from.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In my naïveté and privilege, I had sort of
thought that Obama’s election signaled that racism in the US was on the wane.
Boy was I wrong. The ugliness that poured out astounded me, and my view of what
Americans are changed dramatically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It’s hard to push back against the seething
mass of hatred, fear, and anger that was unleashed following the 2008 election.
My voice is small, and the volume of negativity has continued to get louder and
more vicious. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I talked to my children, tried to educate
them, and I became more mindful of my own privilege and how I could use it to
help stem the tide. I know I will never understand or experience what African
Americans, Native Americans, Hispanics, and other marginalized groups have to
deal with on a daily basis. The only way I could hope to relate is my struggles
against the misogyny I’ve encountered in my life. But if I’m honest, which I
should be, my socio-economic background has insulated me to a certain extent
there, as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">See, the thing with white privilege is that
you grow up without having to fear for your life any time you leave the house.
It has never occurred to me during a traffic stop that the police officer might
shoot me if I said anything wrong. I’ve never walked to the store with the knowledge
that some random vigilante could find me threatening and blow me away. When I’ve
had to knock on a stranger’s door, it has never been with the fear that I would
be seen as a threat and killed before I had a chance to speak. I’ve never had
to fight to assert my right to live unmolested and safe. I’ve never had to
prove that I matter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I never expected to have to warn my
children about the prejudice and aggression they will encounter because of
their skin or their surname.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">When Donald Trump rode down that ridiculous
elevator and stood in front of the cameras, he chose to accuse Mexicans of rape
and murder and insisted he would rid the country of these evil-doers. I’ll
ignore for the moment that the vast majority of Mexican immigrants are hard
workers, dedicated to their families and communities, and living lives that
would make the average suburban white person weep. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The thing that sickened me most about that
speech was that it signaled that racism was socially acceptable. Since that
day, I have heard and seen more racism, bigotry, and intolerance than I think I
had in my entire life up till that point. Because now we have this open culture
of hate, and to our shame, a great percentage of our citizenry has jumped up on
that wagon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">My oldest son told me once that he “feels
white.” What he meant is that he has been sheltered and essentially accepted
into the predominantly white environment due to our family’s financial
advantages. He’s never been treated like a “lazy Mexican.” Even so, I had
to warn him that there are many people out there who will remind him he’s
brown, and that he might even miss out on job opportunities just because of the
name at the top of his résumé. He didn’t believe me before the Trump speech.
Now that he’s seen the aftermath, he realizes that it’s only too true. I hate
that he had to have that revelation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">My youngest son asked me if Trump would
deport his father. He is genuinely scared of this. He is proud of his heritage
and cannot understand why people would hate his grandparents, his father, and
him because of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As a white woman in the suburbs, I don’t know if I’m really qualified to
talk about racism, but I think I need to anyway. I think we all need to.
Because if it’s socially acceptable to let hatred and bigotry have a voice,
then it should also be okay to speak out against it. So even though I’m steeped
in white privilege, I’m not going to stay silent. My children will not stay
silent. And I hope that at the very least, I can leave behind a legacy of
descendants who will be unafraid to speak the truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-41936225328907857402016-07-05T05:00:00.000-04:002016-07-15T23:08:04.667-04:00Now AvailableThe second edition of The Truth Seekers is now available!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZpF2dYAbxExL76a-2yWOjxhL175KrnibxqubgwL584olNIx9jukFKZli3VreYJkTDBn75SRenTlMqC2fhyphenhyphen3TJvLG6GaaWifMD6mLYoR-r7RzdxwEDvWrEkud1rxKwFk298vB4eAnCBH6t/s1600/4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZpF2dYAbxExL76a-2yWOjxhL175KrnibxqubgwL584olNIx9jukFKZli3VreYJkTDBn75SRenTlMqC2fhyphenhyphen3TJvLG6GaaWifMD6mLYoR-r7RzdxwEDvWrEkud1rxKwFk298vB4eAnCBH6t/s200/4.png" width="200" /></a></div>
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Print copies can be ordered from <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Truth-Seekers-Mavvy-Vasquez/dp/1534948716/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1467586814&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Amazon</a>, <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1124015084?ean=9781534964075" target="_blank">Barnes & Noble</a>, and <a href="https://www.createspace.com/6379836" target="_blank">CreateSpace</a>.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZvD8GGbaVkejxBBhtbseoDzH4J25EGAKPWFv_rzHN4XEcBYeXzqF0apG7PO600UawGQyb_t4mg4j5FIvxTqTW6gqoHsKidvQKtUptMn9NluhgbzMWs4_O7U9QObqRWkCb6KN1AbKAsWE/s1600/2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZvD8GGbaVkejxBBhtbseoDzH4J25EGAKPWFv_rzHN4XEcBYeXzqF0apG7PO600UawGQyb_t4mg4j5FIvxTqTW6gqoHsKidvQKtUptMn9NluhgbzMWs4_O7U9QObqRWkCb6KN1AbKAsWE/s200/2.png" width="115" /></a></div>
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E-books can be ordered from <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Truth-Seekers-Mavvy-Vasquez-ebook/dp/B01HN641EO/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1467586814&sr=8-1#nav-subnav" target="_blank">Amazon Kindle</a>, <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1124015084?ean=2940153334851" target="_blank">Barnes & Noble Nook</a>, <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1128309920" target="_blank">iTunes</a>, <a href="https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/the-truth-seekers-3" target="_blank">Kobo</a>, <a href="http://www.inktera.com/store/title/e8ca4367-dce2-4ff3-9336-000f4ebe5bb0" target="_blank">Page Foundry (Inktera)</a>, <a href="https://www.24symbols.com/book/x/x/x?id=1543749" target="_blank">24Symbols</a>, and <a href="https://www.scribd.com/book/316827555/The-Truth-Seekers" target="_blank">Scribd</a>.</div>
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Since this is a second edition, I won't be doing much in the way of promotions or giveaways, but you never know - the mood might strike!</div>
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Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-71543989165445647052016-06-30T13:04:00.000-04:002016-06-30T13:04:07.482-04:00Nearly There!I've received the page proof for <i>The Truth Seekers </i>today, so it looks like this is really happening!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUAzVaAbz5NKYIg1VvwCMrYGM-KKBgBwN6aRiCatAuugr-k49qEjSgwv3a-K_GytXPYwQLYl5Wd0FJ7HiXLmGKNKXnD27QPfGSL56Qg4ronbev1N73mogwP5dN1W1L2ilFDKkdI8V9I2FT/s1600/ProofPhoto.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUAzVaAbz5NKYIg1VvwCMrYGM-KKBgBwN6aRiCatAuugr-k49qEjSgwv3a-K_GytXPYwQLYl5Wd0FJ7HiXLmGKNKXnD27QPfGSL56Qg4ronbev1N73mogwP5dN1W1L2ilFDKkdI8V9I2FT/s320/ProofPhoto.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-89497586301466882892016-06-28T14:01:00.002-04:002016-06-28T14:02:34.835-04:00New DevelopmentsI've been neglecting this blog for quite some time now, but at last I have something new to pass along!<br />
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The second edition of my historical romance, The Truth Seekers, will be available on 5 July 2016 on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and other channels. The e-book is available for pre-order now, but the paperback is still being sorted. It will be available soon, though!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWBdSM0QA98V18NGUG9UoLjxQGSv-VruC-hnkKyoSdOfakuTE3oHXss25aGlwVDZuAEwXdoKjPWve9-NC7vJnuVHvd6PX-HY4LkJdQapiVEenOjE4XX3YZfXHevm7uqaKVUor76GLvx9VO/s1600/JPG+Kindle+Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWBdSM0QA98V18NGUG9UoLjxQGSv-VruC-hnkKyoSdOfakuTE3oHXss25aGlwVDZuAEwXdoKjPWve9-NC7vJnuVHvd6PX-HY4LkJdQapiVEenOjE4XX3YZfXHevm7uqaKVUor76GLvx9VO/s320/JPG+Kindle+Cover.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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Also, some may note that I'm blogging and publishing under a different name these days. I've decided to stop writing as Elizabeth M. Lawrence going forward, so all of my future publications, including The Truth Seekers, will now be available only under the author name Mavvy Vasquez.</div>
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I'm working on some new projects, as well, and I will keep you posted on their development as they progress. Hopefully not too much longer.</div>
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It's good to be back in the saddle again!</div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-56492335032271539892015-11-09T14:11:00.001-05:002015-11-09T14:11:26.559-05:00The Unanswered Question There once was a girl who knew too much. She went to the river, but she knew its path. She went to the garden, but she knew its growth. She went to the hills, but she knew their height.<br />
The girl wanted to have questions again, so she packed up her bag and began to walk. She slept on the ground, but she knew its pebbles and grass. She ate fruit from the trees, but she knew its taste. And still she kept walking.<br />
<br />
One day, she came to a small village. She knew its people, its houses, its trades, and its songs. Still, she thought she would stop here a while to rest.<br />
It so happened that there lived in that town an old woman named Alma. When the girl approached Alma’s cottage, the old lady welcomed her inside.<br />
“Please,” she said, “come into my home and share supper with me, for I am all alone and would enjoy the company.”<br />
Being quite hungry, the girl agreed and entered the woman’s house.<br />
Alma gave her warm, crusty bread and a bowl of nice, rich stew. A steaming pot of tea sat ready on the table, along with a jug of milk. The grateful girl thanked the old woman and began to eat.<br />
Then Alma asked, “Why do you travel, dear girl? The world is a mysterious place, and you are so young.”<br />
“I know too much,” the girl replied. “I want to have questions again, for I love to learn, so I am searching to find new things I do not know.”<br />
“Ah,” said Alma. “That is a worthy effort indeed. How did you come to know so many things?”<br />
The girl answered, “I asked questions. I asked until all my questions were answered.”<br />
Alma leaned back in her chair and folded her hands across her plump waist. “Why do you need to know the answers?”<br />
Confused, the girl paused to consider this. At last, she said, “The purpose of questions is to receive an answer. It is the natural way of things.”<br />
The old woman chuckled and shook her head at the girl. “You may know too much, but you still have much to learn. The greatest questions are those that cannot be answered. The only thing they will teach you is to know your own heart.”<br />
“Where can I find a question without answers?” the girl asked eagerly.<br />
“Stay with me here for one month, and I will show you.”<br />
The girl agreed. Soon, she was settled by the fire with tea and a book, and she and Alma were quite comfortable together.<br />
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Not many days later, Alma said to her, “Come with me to the market, for I have something to show you.”<br />
Excited, the girl sprang up from her chair at once and donned her cloak. Alma gave her a wide basket to carry and, hooking another over her own arm, led the girl down the path to the market.<br />
The pair moved from stall to stall, and the girl’s basket began to grow heavy under the weight of the vegetables and fruits Alma had selected. At last, when both baskets were full to the brim, Alma declared she was satisfied.<br />
“It is time now to travel to our next destination.”<br />
“Where are we going?” the girl asked, for she always wanted the answers to her questions.<br />
“You will soon see,” replied the old woman. “Come along.”<br />
The girl came along, following Alma down the path, which grew more and more scraggly and unkempt the farther they went. At long last, they came to a hovel that looked as though a strong wind could bring it down. The door stood straight, but the walls and roof listed and bowed with age, the drooping windows seeming to squint at the women as they approached.<br />
“This is our destination,” Alma told the girl.<br />
“Why are we here?” the girl asked at once.<br />
“You will soon see.”<br />
Alma approached the hovel, and with great care, knocked on the ancient wood of the door frame.<br />
When the door opened, the girl took a step back in alarm. There stood a very old man, his body more twisted and frail than his home. The man’s hair was a scattering of yellowed white wisps that hung down limply to his collar. His eyes were far too large for his face, the corners damp and the irises dull. The skin of his face and hands was brown and leathery.<br />
His near-toothless mouth gaped in a smile of welcome for Alma, who took his gnarled hand in hers.<br />
“Joseph, it is so good to see you. Are you well?”<br />
“Ah, Alma! I am as well as I need to be. Please, bring your young friend and sit with me a spell.”<br />
The girl did not want to enter, but seeing Alma march in without hesitation, she straightened her spine and followed.<br />
Inside was a small table with two spindly chairs on either side. Not far away was a sleeping pallet covered with tattered blankets. The crumbling fireplace sheltered some burning twigs, which must have been all the old man could manage to gather. A precarious stack of books, their spines broken, stood upon the dirt floor like a column of defeated soldiers.<br />
Feeling quite awkward, the girl stood quietly, watching her guide speak with their host. Alma asked after his health in some detail, for it seemed they were old friends. She bade the girl rest her heavy basket on the table and take a seat and be comfortable.<br />
The girl did as she was directed, and Alma claimed the other chair for herself. Joseph maneuvered himself to sit upon his pallet, his rheumy eyes sparkling in the scant light. While her elders talked together of the past days of their youth and laughed, the girl began to think.<br />
“What is the question that Alma wants to show me here?” she wondered. Although she was anxious for the answer, she knew what the woman’s response would be.<br />
<i>You will soon see</i>.<br />
So she didn’t ask her question just yet, resolving to wait a bit longer for the answer to come on its own.<br />
When the visit finally ended, Alma stood to say her goodbyes. After giving a quiet word of thanks to Joseph, the girl took up her basket from the table and went outside to wait for her friend to join her.<br />
Alma emerged, but the girl noted that she was not carrying her basket.<br />
“Oh, Alma,” she said, “you have forgotten your basket!”<br />
Undisturbed, Alma continued to walk down the path. “I did not forget, my dear.”<br />
“You meant to leave it?”<br />
“Yes.”<br />
“But why? And who was that man?”<br />
The old woman chuckled, then spoke. “He was the friend of my elder brother, years and years ago. When we were in school, he would tease me and pull my hair and trip my feet and steal my primer. He never had a kind word for me in all those years.”<br />
“And yet you visit him?” the girl asked, confused.<br />
“One day,” Alma continued without answering, “he went away to make his fortune. I was glad, for he had been a constant source of unhappiness for me. Time passed, we all grew up, married, had children, and lived our lives as people do. My youngest was grown and gone before Joseph came back.<br />
“He had seen and done many things, some bad and some not so bad. When he had money, he’d spent it without reserve. When he had food, he ate his fill. When he did not have those things, he stole or cheated them out of someone else. After a lifetime of living without care or conscience, Joseph had nothing left. He had cheated all his friends, and now no one would help him. He had stolen from all the merchants, and now no one would trust him. So, hungry and alone, he made his way back to the village of his youth.”<br />
“And did he apologize for how he’d treated you?”<br />
“No, he never did,” Alma said. “He came to that hovel and hid away from the world, surviving as best he could on what the forest would provide. And since everyone here remembered his behavior in the past, no one approached him.<br />
“But I had gone out walking one fine day, and I happened to see him. He was limping badly, trying to get back to his shelter, but it did not look as though he would be able to reach it on his own. So I went to him and took his arm, and he leaned on me until we reached his home.”<br />
“Did he thank you?” the girl asked.<br />
“No, he never did. I helped him inside and got him to sit on his bed. I cleaned his wound as best I could, fetched him some water, and told him to rest. Then I went home.<br />
“That night, I thought a long time about Joseph. He needed help and had no one to give it. So the next day I went to the market and filled up a basket, and I went back and left it on his table. He grumbled at me a bit, but he let me change his bandages and put ointment on his leg to aid the healing.”<br />
The girl considered this. “And so you keep going back to help?”<br />
“I do.”<br />
“But he was so mean to you! And he never apologized! Never thanked you!”<br />
“No, he never did.”<br />
“But…” The girl was more puzzled than ever. “Why would you do that?”<br />
Alma looked at her with a knowing smile. “You do not know charity?”<br />
“Well, yes of course I do, but… he was so awful to you!”<br />
“Do you not know forgiveness?”<br />
“Yes, of course,” the girl repeated. “But he did not ask for it. There are far more deserving people in need of aid. Why <i>him</i>, Alma?”<br />
“My dear, when one gives a gift, whether deserved or not, it should be without condition. The receiver need not be deserving, or humble, or repentant. All that is required is that the giver wishes to do good for another.”<br />
The two walked in silence for some time, until at last they came to Alma’s cottage and went inside.<br />
Once they were settled by the fire with their tea, as had become their habit, the girl asked once more.<br />
“Why help him, Alma? I understand that gifts should not come with expectation, but why in all the world choose him as the beneficiary of your kindness?”<br />
“That, my dear, is the answer you must seek in your own heart.”<br />
No matter how many questions the girl asked that night, Alma would say no more on the subject.<br />
<br />
Several days passed before Alma again said, “Come with me to the market, for I have something to show you.”<br />
Not knowing what to expect, the girl followed her to the village marketplace once more.<br />
Alma went to the wizened old man who sold second-hand books. Not many people wished to buy such extravagances, but he greeted Alma as though she were a customer of long standing.<br />
“My dear Alma! How are you on this fine day?”<br />
“Quite well, Marcus. Do you have any new treasures to show me?”<br />
The girl stood in silence, observing while Alma and Marcus pawed through his collection. Now and then, Alma would lift a book from the pile and give a delighted laugh, and Marcus would nod and smile at her choice. Each so favored book found its way into the girl’s waiting arms, until her burden became quite heavy and unwieldy. Alma paid Marcus for the books and bade him goodbye, taking half the books from the girl’s aching arms.<br />
“Come along, my dear,” the old woman said, so the girl came along.<br />
This time, they took a neat, orderly path that led to a neat, orderly house in the glen. The house was well-kept, with brisk white paint and merry red trim. A profusion of flowers danced along its border, and a sturdy wooden fence ringed the property.<br />
“This is our destination,” Alma told the girl.<br />
“Why are we here?” the girl asked.<br />
“You will soon see.”<br />
They entered at the gate and over the pebbled walk until they reached the door. Alma gave three brisk knocks.<br />
The door soon opened, and there stood a woman not much older than the girl. Her hair was wrapped in a bright orange scarf, and her skin was as dark as night. The woman beamed when she saw them, the whiteness of her teeth bright against her complexion.<br />
“Alma! What a delight! I did not know you were to come today!”<br />
Alma moved forward and hugged the dark woman. “I love to surprise you, Ashai. My young friend and I have brought some marvelous books to share with you!”<br />
Ashai opened the door wide and said, “Please, come in! Let me see what treasures you’ve discovered this time!”<br />
The parlor of her home was clean and crisp, the fabrics bright and welcoming, the wooden furniture gleaming and warm. The girl found it comfortable and was quite glad to visit with this woman in such a room, now that her initial surprise at her skin had passed. It was clear that Alma saw nothing objectionable about Ashai, and the girl trusted her friend’s judgment.<br />
Soon, the trio were seated comfortably, looking through the selection of books Alma had bought. The girl discovered that Ashai was wonderful company, intelligent and kind. She was sorry when it came time for them to leave, but she was not surprised that most of the books they’d carried remained behind when they went.<br />
“You left those books for her,” the girl observed.<br />
“I did.”<br />
“Why did you do that?”<br />
Alma looked at her with an appraising eye. “Did you not like Ashai?”<br />
“I liked her very much,” the girl answered. “I just do not understand why you brought her books.”<br />
“Ashai is a very smart person. She loves to read and discuss what she has learned.”<br />
“But she cannot buy her own books?” the girl guessed.<br />
“She could afford them,” Alma said, “but it is difficult for her to go into the village.”<br />
The girl was confused once more. “Why? It is not a long walk, and she appeared to be in good health.”<br />
Her friend explained. “Ashai came here several years ago. She had inherited a modest fortune, enough for her to buy a house and live at leisure. However, when she arrived, not all of the village welcomed her.”<br />
“Because she is so dark?” the girl guessed.<br />
“Yes. One day, some men who felt this way threatened her and told her not to return to the village or she would be beaten.”<br />
The girl shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself. “What a horrible thing for them to do! She cannot help the color of her skin, and she is such a good person. They were wrong to act that way.”<br />
“Yes, they were,” Alma agreed. “Ashai did not wish to leave her new home, but she recognized the danger these men posed. So with the help of those who had welcomed her, she arranged to stay on. Everything she might need at the market is brought to her by a neighbor of mine, and he only takes the money needed for her supplies. He is a very kind young man.”<br />
The girl nodded and then stayed silent the rest of the way back to the cottage.<br />
That evening, when they were settled at the fire, she asked again.<br />
“But why do those people hate Ashai? It does not make any sense.”<br />
Alma looked up from her knitting. “Many people hate for reasons such as theirs. A person’s color or poverty or religion determines how some folks treat others.”<br />
“But…” The girl was more puzzled than ever. “Why would they do that?”<br />
Alma smiled, although there was sorrow in her eyes. “You do not know hatred?”<br />
“Well, yes of course I do, but… Ashai does not deserve it!”<br />
“Do you not know anger?”<br />
“Yes, of course,” the girl repeated. “But she did nothing to deserve it. What those men did was far worse. Why <i>her</i>, Alma?”<br />
“My dear, when one is prejudiced against another, whether deserved or not, it is without logic. The object of scorn need not be deserving, or malicious, or evil. All that is required is that the hater wishes to do harm to another because that person is different in some way.”<br />
“Why hurt her, Alma? I understand that some people harbor hatred for others, but why in all the world choose her as the target of their violence?”<br />
“That, my dear, is the answer you must seek in your own heart.”<br />
The girl asked many more questions that night, but Alma would say no more on the subject.<br />
<br />
When the girl had been with Alma for nearly a month, the old woman said to her, “Come with me to the market, for I have something to show you.”<br />
The girl rose up from her chair at once, curious to see what new conundrum Alma would show her. Her friend gave her a bright ribbon for her hair, for the day was windy, and she led the girl down the path to the market.<br />
At the butcher’s shop, they met a boy who was wrapping cuts of meat in tidy parcels with paper. He smiled when he recognized Alma.<br />
“What can I get for you today, ma’am?” he asked.<br />
Alma gave the boy a wide smile. “Have you taken Ashai’s order out to her yet?”<br />
He nodded. “Went this morning before it got busy. If I’d waited, all the best cuts would have been gone.”<br />
The girl realized that this was the boy who brought Ashai the supplies she could not get for herself in safety. She inspected him with an attentive eye. He was tall, she thought, with dancing bright eyes and ruddy cheeks. His arms and shoulders were strong from years of honest work, and his open expression warmed her. So involved was she in her observation that she started when Alma turned to introduce her.<br />
“This is my young friend who has been visiting with me these last weeks,” Alma said.<br />
The butcher’s boy turned shy, but managed to stutter a few words of welcome. The girl thanked him, and then they stood for some time, blushing at each other in awkward silence.<br />
Alma broke the moment with a chuckle. “If I’m not interrupting, I’d like to get something to cook for our dinner.”<br />
“Of course,” the boy replied, blushing even redder than before.<br />
With many more shy glances at the girl, he managed at last to attend to Alma. The transaction complete, the girl answered his breathless farewell with embarrassed pleasure. Her friend said nothing, and they returned home.<br />
The boy began to call at the cottage every day with one excuse or other, and the girl found herself looking forward to his visits. As the time for her departure drew near, she told him that she would miss him when she left.<br />
“Then don’t go,” he said, taking her hand in his.<br />
Her heart jumped a little at the contact, but she said, “I must move on. Alma has been more than kind, but I do not want to outstay my welcome.”<br />
“You would always be welcome in your own home.”<br />
“Well, yes. But I have no home here.”<br />
“You could have,” the boy said, “if you married me.”<br />
Air left the girl’s lungs in a rush. “You wish to marry me?” she asked.<br />
“Yes, I do. Very much.”<br />
“But why?”<br />
He smiled, his expression quiet and confident. “Because I love you, dear girl.”<br />
<br />
The girl asked for time to consider his proposal, and the boy agreed. She returned to the cottage in some agitation, and at once petitioned Alma for advice.<br />
“He says he loves me. Why should he love me? I have no special beauty or wit or talent. I am just an ordinary girl.”<br />
“None of that matters, if he loves you.”<br />
“But he is so good! And he never asks for thanks! He’s never anything but kind!”<br />
“No, he never is.”<br />
“But…” The girl was more puzzled than ever. “Why would he love me?”<br />
Alma looked at her with a knowing smile. “You do not know admiration?”<br />
“Well, yes of course I do, but… how can I know I’ll make him happy?”<br />
“Do you not know hope?”<br />
“Yes, of course,” the girl repeated. “But he did not ask someone better. There are far more deserving women in need of love. Why <i>me</i>, Alma?”<br />
“My dear, when one gives love, whether deserved or not, it should be welcomed. The recipient need not be deserving, or beautiful, or wise. All that is required is that the lover wishes to spend their lives together.”<br />
“Why choose me, Alma? I understand that some people fall in love, but why in all the world choose me as the object of his affection?”<br />
“That, my dear, is the answer you must seek in your own heart.”<br />
“You always say that,” the girl complained. “How can I find answers inside my heart? What am I supposed to find there that I cannot learn another way?”<br />
Alma shook her head at the girl in obvious exasperation. “Why do people forgive? Why do people have faith? Why do they hate? Why do they love? These are the questions that have no answer, my dear. Embrace the mystery. Have faith. Choose to love, even if there is no reason. Let the answer be you love because you feel it, and he loves because he feels it. There is no better answer than that.”<br />
<br />
The girl lay in her bed that night and considered Alma’s words. The old woman had found forgiveness and charity inside herself, and she had refused to share the hatred others held. And she was right. There was still no good explanation for why some love and some hate, or why some believe and some doubt. Alma’s choices showed her heart to the world, and that was where her reasons could be found. She forgave and loved and trusted because that was who she was.<br />
And the girl looked into her own heart and found love for the boy, even though she could not explain why she felt that way. The next day, she went to him and said, “I have considered, and I have found that I do love you. I also believe that you love me, even though I do not understand why I would be your choice. So I am choosing to be with you, as well.”<br />
So the two were married, even though they weren’t sure why, and the girl discovered that some questions need no answer.Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-44989793653338279072015-11-07T13:56:00.000-05:002015-11-07T13:56:50.172-05:00Balancing Mind Ogre PatternsOn Wednesdays, I get toothpaste in my eye. I’m not sure why this occurs every week without fail. It’s not intentional. Wednesdays are not good days for me in general.<br />
<br />
There’s a pattern.<br />
<br />
Sundays, I forget to do everything and wind up frantic at 10:00 at night, wondering how I’m going to do it all with no time.<br />
<br />
Mondays are like New Years Day. I’m bright and shiny with intention and purpose. It will be a phenomenal day. I will exercise, plow through my pending work, clean the house, volunteer for a charity, and find a cure for the common cold. I wait until about 3:00 to admit none of that happened, but the dream has not yet died.<br />
<br />
Tuesdays, I take another stab at it, but it’s like January 2nd. You can’t recapture the magic of that electric determination. By lunchtime, I stop even pretending to be a productive member of society.<br />
<br />
Wednesdays are toothpaste. There’s often an afternoon nap involved, too.<br />
<br />
Thursdays, I don’t give a damn about anything. I do what needs doing, but it takes effort. If someone asks me to participate in some event or activity on Thursday, it ain’t happening.<br />
<br />
Fridays, it’s a toss-up whether I’m even going to get dressed.<br />
<br />
On Saturdays, my resolutions come back, only this time I swear to go out and enjoy the world, see art, watch a play, and enjoy life. It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing… I’ll just finish this chapter in my book, and then I’ll get going. Yep.<br />
<br />
Then I keep reading straight through to Sunday evening.<br />
<br />
The pattern of my life is one I would love to change. My therapist would love for me to change it, too. If nothing else, I would get more work done, which would enable me to afford my therapy sessions. It’s a vicious circle.<br />
<br />
Every night, I lie in bed and imagine worlds and adventures and people, forming them into stories in my head. Everyone tells me to write them down. I don’t.<br />
<br />
When you talk to people about depression, this is not what they would imagine, I think. How it wears you down, dragging at you in whispers that hold you back with subtle force. I’m not sad. Like I said, it’s a beautiful day, the sun, the birds, etc. My mind is just not under my complete control. And yes, it’s frustrating as hell.<br />
<br />
There are rare days when I am hypo-manic and can take on the world. Those are the days when work gets done, stuff gets cleaned, and I am the mistress of all I survey. Brimming with focus, burning to explore the world. It doesn’t last, though. I pay the price afterward with an unusual low. This is kind of like a kid on a sugar high passing out when they come back down.<br />
<br />
So low is bad, high is bad, and I have to learn to ride the line between the two. My pattern allows this, but I need to change my pattern. How to stay balanced while doing this is a conundrum.<br />
<br />
My friends and family want wonderful things for me. That’s great. I want wonderful things, too. And I understand it’s hard to watch from the outside while I continue with the same old behaviors and making the same old mistakes. It’s impressive these people stick around, really. I’m annoying.<br />
<br />
There are these voices in my head. (No, not like that. I’m not schizophrenic.)The encouragement, faith, love, and admiration I receive from the people in my life is a quiet chorus, whispering at me over and over to remind me that there is something more, and that I can have it. These soothing voices join together against the loud clamor of my own inner voice telling me I suck in every possible way. It’s hard to hear past that barrage of negativity.<br />
<br />
I hear everyone, though. I do. No one should ever think that their words have no effect on me. Often those words are the only weapons I have in the fight to do SOMETHING today, even if it’s brushing my teeth. Without those voices in my mind, it would be a fight I couldn’t win.<br />
<br />
Mental illness is invisible. Sure, you can see someone flake out and do some weird shit. You can see cuts, scars, weight gained or lost, mood swings, seizures and meltdowns. It’s below the surface that the true symptoms do their damage, however. Each depressive person’s experience is unique to them, but there are many near-constant similarities. The biggest is that depression has the potential to tear apart everything they care about and want to build for themselves. It’s impossible to do your taxes, wash the dishes, or manage your workload when you’re fighting a sumo wrestler in your head. Your hands are already full.<br />
<br />
I’m not sure where this is going, but here it is anyway.<br />
<br />
In my case, depression is a fact of life. I’ve never been without it, even as a toddler. There is no “me” without depression. I’d be a completely different person. That means that there is no clear way to unravel its effects from the rest of who I am. It feeds my creativity, informs my decisions, and influences my relationships. So I have no frame of reference for what “normal” would mean for me. I don’t think I’d like it.<br />
<br />
My imagination walks hand in hand with my illness, giving me words and images and characters to bring to life in my writing. The books I read come alive, dynamic and immersed in detail. That would be hard to give up.<br />
<br />
Having been judged and marginalized all my life, I am much more accepting and accommodating in my interactions with others. I embrace the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. (Metaphorically. I’m not a hugger.)<br />
<br />
It makes me want to help others, support those who are suffering, particularly when their circumstances are more heartbreaking or perilous than mine. I want to fix all the problems in the world, even though I can’t fix mine.<br />
<br />
Depression gives me those gifts, but it keeps me from using them. And that’s a dilemma that makes me run around in mental circles day and night. I want to use the talents and strengths. I want to achieve my potential. I want to tap into the creative spring inside me. If only I manage to be strong enough to fight the ogre who lives in my thoughts and tears apart my confidence.<br />
<br />
My ability to feel any self-worth is significantly impaired. I can’t accept that it’s not my fault, because I’d get past it if I didn’t suck. I can’t defend myself against criticism, because it’s true that I suck. It’s hard to believe that anyone really loves me because I suck. There’s no point in working to become healthier, since I’d suck regardless. Every time I meet someone new, they can tell right away that I suck. No one will ever read my books because they suck. I will never, ever be good enough, because I’m not good at all.<br />
<br />
This is the ogre that lives in my head. This is the voice that I hear ALL the time. It’s constant. It’s there right now, telling me to stop typing and just go back to bed with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a spoon to mourn the loss of my dignity.<br />
<br />
I may not be dignified, but I did write this. The quiet voices of hope helped me write this, and so even this small step is an accomplishment.<br />
<br />
Suck it, mind ogre.Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-18697039351030083342014-11-10T22:03:00.000-05:002014-11-10T22:03:18.625-05:00Time Machine<div class="MsoNormal">
My mother fell today. She got hurt but not badly, and it got
me thinking. She’s seventy-two now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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It wasn’t a doddering-old-lady accident. She just tripped. I
do that all the time. We Lawrences are a graceful bunch. All the same, I couldn’t
quite put it out of my head. This is where we are now. As an only child, I have
always known that the day would come when the balance of our relationship would
shift and I would become the caregiver. There is still a bit of a shock when
you find that long-anticipated day has arrived. My mind went automatically to
whether she needed a doctor, how to get the kids home from school, whether my
father needed me to be there, and on and on. This is a woman who used to run a
department of a major corporation with such laser focus that I swear she only
came home to sleep. She got a PhD at fifty because she just wanted to. She learned Italian in her sixties. She knows exactly which lines were cut from that Shakespearean production and can recite them on demand.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My father, whose mind has always been brilliant and whose
composure has always been coma-like, is seventy-six. He’s started to forget
things. He’s started to make mistakes. It’s disorienting to see such a
razor-sharp intellect lose the edge my mother and I always relied upon. It’s a
bit sad it happened gradually enough for me to become accustomed to having to
double-check with him. I couldn’t even tell you when “reminding Dad” became
standard operating procedure. The change snuck up on me like a ninja. We’re
talking about a man who wrote out the grocery list in order of where the items
were located in the aisles. From memory. In pen.</div>
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It shouldn’t have surprised me. I’m forty-two. But frankly,
it’s still way too early to start talking about my parents’ twilight years.
People in my family tend to hang around quite awhile. It may be another twenty
years before we’re really talking about “The End.” However, my parents are no
longer comfortably nestled in that catchall period known as middle age. The
scares will become more frequent, the list of doctors and specialists will
become longer, and my separateness from them will shrink. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTFbdk2ssGzr2s1UzrG7xUX3JMhIZh0RvvMjbFHk5LkrrvmuQW_-l4HtctrsQkDzhcj5-77LNsWZGZlB5JIDwU9fAgVeRGi3OJsy3Su54OaVqq7dlFccBL-pfBPhACOkTt5gJXNsNOg2xW/s1600/Ambro.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTFbdk2ssGzr2s1UzrG7xUX3JMhIZh0RvvMjbFHk5LkrrvmuQW_-l4HtctrsQkDzhcj5-77LNsWZGZlB5JIDwU9fAgVeRGi3OJsy3Su54OaVqq7dlFccBL-pfBPhACOkTt5gJXNsNOg2xW/s1600/Ambro.jpg" height="212" title="Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shorty is turning eleven this week. Seven more years until
society labels him a legal adult. My time as the parent of actual <i>children</i> is coming to an end, but I will
continue to be a caretaker. If family patterns hold, I will only stop when my
parents have gone, and it becomes my boys’ turn to worry about my aging body
and how much longer they can cling to their independence before the
separateness from me is no longer possible. I’d hoped that by having two
children, neither would have to shoulder that alone. It may not work out that
way, but at least I gave it a shot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My teen is fast approaching his seventeenth birthday, and
our recent conversations have revolved around driver’s ed, college searches,
and potential careers. Never have the sands fallen so quickly through the
hourglass. I’m nearly out of time, I think. Now I frantically bombard him with
all the life lessons and tools I hadn’t gotten around to yet. I’m cramming for
the exam, although he will be the one tested. I hope that if I forgot an
assignment, he will call me and ask for my notes. I try to trust that he’s ready,
and I remind myself to let him fail.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEpFGnUQrmmZDjycyKdEdbnYmdxweJRdQnTguLLxH7xTGBQFa0Ox3qDMX6HMtzsrOL8jJPG5oix2Em-J7LtlTb55-JztcK_dwJQP_RX3VqA27CtaE8N4cu1GbMwsDf30Kl_69BG0HVlP6i/s1600/Stuart+Miles+-+Clock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEpFGnUQrmmZDjycyKdEdbnYmdxweJRdQnTguLLxH7xTGBQFa0Ox3qDMX6HMtzsrOL8jJPG5oix2Em-J7LtlTb55-JztcK_dwJQP_RX3VqA27CtaE8N4cu1GbMwsDf30Kl_69BG0HVlP6i/s1600/Stuart+Miles+-+Clock.jpg" height="317" title="Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My husband and I have begun to realize we need things to
talk about outside the kids and our careers. We need to remember how to hang
out. How to just sit and shoot the shit for hours about all sorts of nonsense,
like we used to back when we were young and had all the time in the world.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is why people have mid-life crises, I think. I’ve
always been aware that time was passing, but never before has such a sense of
urgency been tied to it. The next steps along the path are all big ones, but
none of them are mine. This gives me a sense of powerlessness that I am having
trouble adjusting to, even though I know that control has always been an
illusion. My life now has a different flavor, and my mind is reacting the same
way the world did when New Coke was introduced in the 1980s, with a loud cry of
“What the hell is <i>this</i> nonsense?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5pYXPxmlxrNZH7a7c12-qBqkAZsdgoXxDPrvaWg4Rw3abVnp5CcrlinUuFxNi8RTFKiWyOLg3BthAUevh8_eFfeXzcIxoRVrQxHyzpH747_PJdbAfHn7GebolMl49CbsoFIdrTNhJ2bYR/s1600/Stuart+Miles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5pYXPxmlxrNZH7a7c12-qBqkAZsdgoXxDPrvaWg4Rw3abVnp5CcrlinUuFxNi8RTFKiWyOLg3BthAUevh8_eFfeXzcIxoRVrQxHyzpH747_PJdbAfHn7GebolMl49CbsoFIdrTNhJ2bYR/s1600/Stuart+Miles.jpg" height="320" title="Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="243" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Time is passing, and there are no guarantees. So I sit and
wonder, in the midst of scheduling SAT prep classes and learning about
end-of-life care options, what about me? Am I content to just bounce back and
forth from daughter to mother to daughter to mother to (perhaps) grandmother?
What about my writing? You can prepare for some eventualities. Get life
insurance so your family can pay your final expenses. Get health insurance so
the life insurance won’t be needed prematurely. Get auto and home insurance so
your assets stay around as long as you do. But there isn’t an insurance company
out there than can protect against untapped potential. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m weirdly comforted by that. It doesn’t give me the sense
of anxiety that other things do. It’s nice to know that there are some things
that will only exist if I create them. There’s a footprint only I can leave
behind. This is an excellent reminder to me that the things I love best, beyond
the family and friends I cherish, need me to give them life. My writing is
mine, and it is me—independent of my health, my appearance, my social skills,
my number of friends, even my self-esteem. It is mine in the purest sense
possible.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Somewhere in between being a daughter and a mother, a wife
and a friend, I am a writer. I will be a writer the next time my mother falls
and the next time my father forgets. I will be a writer while my children take
their first steps into their own slice of the world to learn who they will
become. I will be a writer when my husband and I are left to our own devices,
when we suddenly notice that we’re still seeing each other as twenty-three and
so clueless, even though the world around us calls us “Ma’am” and “Sir” and our
children have started worrying about our falls and forgetfulness. I am so, so
fortunate to have this gift I can carry with me always, and now I am taking the
time to remember that what I have to share with the world is just as important
as my other roles.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsmWJYjMS8TbTXnZqv5IWhaBCas1btafXx9vqpBh-wT23OuzerBDVLkxXeIOusUFSpSq4b645HIOeyQZH16sUcKoqR0IlZ2l3HN6p7kTDxhU6BmTIlMXorg3beW-XMcKbwBnbae_l2kdsV/s1600/thaikrit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsmWJYjMS8TbTXnZqv5IWhaBCas1btafXx9vqpBh-wT23OuzerBDVLkxXeIOusUFSpSq4b645HIOeyQZH16sUcKoqR0IlZ2l3HN6p7kTDxhU6BmTIlMXorg3beW-XMcKbwBnbae_l2kdsV/s1600/thaikrit.jpg" height="240" title="Image courtesy of thaikrit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
November is National Novel Writing Month, and (shocking, I
know) many of my friends are writers. I have heard nearly every one of them in
the past ten days question their abilities. The words won’t come, the story is
stupid, the characters are jerks, the world will laugh (or worse, ignore) their
paltry offerings. Each of these friends has real talent. No one of them could
write the story any other has written. Their uniqueness is remarkable. The
qualities I see in each of them, the reasons I call these people friends, come
across on the page. I know they can’t see it. I know they are frustrated, maybe
a little scared, feeling foolish for even trying. But they are so, so
brilliant. They have so much wonder and truth and heart that I want to scream
at them, “Can’t you see how totally remarkable you are?” So this is me, yelling
at each of you. Use your time. Create something new. No one else can tell your
story.</div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-27390419510459855882014-05-31T00:00:00.000-04:002014-05-31T00:00:05.722-04:00Secret Handshake<div class="MsoNormal">
It is the late 1970s. We have just moved to Cleveland, and
my parents have started taking me to church every Sunday. In our new home, my
father is suddenly no longer an atheist, and he follows my mother back to the religion
of her childhood. I’ve been in the choir of the Methodist church, and I’m
confused about why we can’t join that one instead. They are nice to me there. The
rituals of this new church make no sense to me, and I observe the routine with
a mixture of skepticism and bewilderment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What are they doing?” I’m whispering, because that’s what
you do when you’re a child in a big room.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“They’re making the sign of the cross.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Little tiny ones?” I’m really confused now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They want me to be quiet. They want me to fit in and play
along, but I don’t understand. “Why?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A suppressed sigh. Everything is like that now. Muted, so
the world won’t hear and judge. “So that God is in their thoughts, on their
lips, and in their hearts.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to ask what it means, but I don’t. We’re right under
the priest’s nose, and I don’t want to upset him. He’s wearing a wide robe that
shines with crimson and gold. I want to ask about that, too, but I don’t. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My mother has dressed me up, and the pleats of my skirt are
gauzy and sharp. I gather them with my fingers, a slippery pink accordion. My
mother puts a book under my nose, and the fabric falls away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Follow along.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a small book, white plastic and inexplicably puffy.
Jesus is inside. He has children on his lap, and he’s laughing. Everyone looks
relaxed and happy. I want to find the right words in the book. I want to
understand what is going on up on the massive table. If I can find the words,
God will put me on his lap, and we can laugh together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t find the words. I’ve kept quiet, because all of this
is new. This city speaks differently. The children don’t want to play with me. My
accent is weird, and they don’t like the things I imagine. “Idea” has no R at
the end. I can’t have a frappe. I can’t ride the swan boats.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We played in Boston. Back in Boston, I was the Queen of All
Seasons and the Captain of the Kissing Girl Team. Here, I am not. Not heard.
Not seen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s hard for me to understand why suddenly it is a sin to
sleep in on a lazy Sunday morning. The priest tells me that I can go to hell if
I don’t go to church on Sunday. No, the Sundays before don’t count. Starting
now, though. My concepts of right and wrong are absolute at this age, and I
can’t understand what has changed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m going to be Catholic now. Hell is something I need to
worry about now. I ask the priest why people believe, if they can avoid hell just
by not knowing any better. He sighs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I’m sad, I tell my father I want to go home. All the
way back, to before church, before Ohio, and even before Boston. My family is
in Kansas. I want to go home. I want to understand the words and the gestures
and the rules. Nothing here makes sense. I want to pet my grandfather’s dog,
play with my cousins, and be far away from these mystifying people and their
strange words and gestures that no one ever explains.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My father tells me that Kansas isn’t home. He tells me that
if we went back, the place I want still wouldn’t be there. He tells me home
doesn’t exist, so I need to be happy here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to be where I belong, but I’m out of sync here. I
don’t know what to say while the rosary beads slip through my fingers. I don’t
understand what the other kids seem to. I stay silent.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we all go to high school seven years later, one of the
girls speaks to me. She hasn’t before, except to tease on the playground, but
now she is new. I am familiar.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Aren’t you nervous?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How do we figure out where to go?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Just follow everyone else. It’ll be fine.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How can you be so calm?” She’s demanding now, unsettled
that the misfit is now stronger than her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shrug and move away. This is nothing. I can do this. It’s
an even playing field because we’re all new. We’re beginning at the very start
of the process rather than being thrown into the middle of the machinery like a
wayward screwdriver. This time, we all have to learn these new rules.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How hard could it be? The skirts are polyester, and the
pleats are sewn in like the Will of God. My imagination slips out in my words
now and then, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not confused, so they like me here.
I’m not the awkward girl who doesn’t understand. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I still want to go home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
College comes, and I go. It’s Pennsylvania this time, but by
now, I am used to this. The school is a microcosm that I soon carve into,
making my place. I have friends, and a boy who says he loves me even though my
words aren’t what he wants to hear. I let my imagination out of its box a bit
more, I experiment with words, and I say goodbye to the boy. Another boy loves
me, and I let him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t want to go home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I come back to Cleveland, bringing my boy with me. At first,
there is the dream of the next adventure. We can go anywhere, be anything. I
consider Alabama. England. Boston. Kansas. And then I look around at where I
am.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I may not have understood the motions in church, the
unwritten rules of Catholic school, or the ordered suburban lives of my peers
back then. But now I find myself in Cleveland, and I understand. There is
Playhouse Square, where I saw Yule Brenner and Beverly Sills. I learned to
change the theater lights and lace up toe shoes at the Beck Center. The
Cleveland Institute of Art showed me that hair is more than just one color, and
Severance Hall showed me how music feels when it reverberates off your heart
and into your bones. I’ve learned to sing, to paint, to dance, and to write here.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(The violin was a disaster, and I never learned to cook.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lot of the old places are gone, but the old places are
being made new. The people here shine, and they open themselves to the idea of
what a city, a neighborhood, or one old building could be. There is life here,
and instead of a secret handshake, a hand is thrust out to pull you into the
chaos and wonder of it all. You can be one hundred people here and live every
life imaginable.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So this is home now. I came home, but I’m not in Kansas
anymore.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-90137782931856025382014-05-30T00:00:00.000-04:002014-05-30T00:00:00.431-04:00Conversations in my Life<div class="MsoNormal">
I recently came across a little log I was keeping of strange little exchanges I had (or overheard) throughout the course of my days. It's a couple years old, but some of them made me laugh, so I thought I'd share.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>May 7, 2012</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Shorty:
"What does the S in 'socks' stand for?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: *guzzles more coffee*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>May 13, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Teenager:
"Mom, Shorty is messing with my room's protons."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Shorty, no messing with other people's
protons without permission."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><u><b>May 15, 2012</b></u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">My mother:
"You can't be a maverick when you're married with kids."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Watch me."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><u><b>May 17, 2012</b></u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Board of
Education employee (all excited): "Do you write children's books?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me (choking slightly): "Um... no."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Awkward pause.</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Board of Education employee: "Oh."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>May 27, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span class="usercontent">92-year-old
great aunt (and Joplin, MO, resident): "I haven't been going to church
since it blew away." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Way to get off on a technicality!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>May 29, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">92-year-old
Great-Aunt: "I go to the beauty shop, and all the magazines have articles
on how to lose weight. It makes me mad. Where are the articles on how to GAIN
weight? I don't even have anything to sit on anymore!"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: ---<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Mother's
Cousin: "He got up from the dinner table to go to the bathroom, and he
showed up a week later in Mexico."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: ---<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Mother:
"I miss Daddy. There's no one to say 'There's where the poop goes' when we
drive past the water treatment plant."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Uncle: "I don't think Dad ever said 'poop'. He
wasn't a 'poop' kind of guy."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: ---<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Driving
through area of Joplin destroyed one year ago by a tornado:</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Mother: "If you think it looks bad now, you should
have seen it a year ago!"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: *biting tongue*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>June 10, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Teen's
friend: "I got $120 bucks for graduation!"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Teen: "So? I got a sonic screwdriver, a TARDIS USB
hub, and a Minecraft t-shirt. That's WAY better."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>June 14, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Shorty:
“Can I go to Grandma & Grandpa's?”</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: “No, they're meeting with the President today.”</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: “The President of what?”</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: “The United States.”</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: “Okay. How about tomorrow, then?”</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: “You are a hard kid to impress, you know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><u><b>July 2, 2012</b></u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Shorty:
"What are dogs' armpits for?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: ----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><u><b>July 5, 2012</b></u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Me (to
cat): "Aw, who's my precious girl?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Hubs (raises hand): "ME!"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: ---<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>July 12, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">My
Teenager: "The worst part about being in the Legions of the Undead is that
you get killed quickly."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Okay, but did you do the laundry?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>July 14, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Me: "I
really don't want you playing violent games."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "It's not violent. It's just guns."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">(pause)</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Wow. I really am a crap parent."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>July 15, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">My Mother:
"We have a present for you. Your father and I had a portrait done, and we
got you a framed print."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Um... okay..."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">My Mother: "It's too late to bring it over
tonight, but we'll get it to you as soon as we can, okay?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "No rush, really."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><u><b>July 18, 2012</b></u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Teenager:
"Mom, your accent is slipping again."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Damn."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Teenager: "You have a real problem with
that."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Oh, shut up."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>July 30, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Me:
"Hey, I need you to watch Shorty tomorrow for a bit. I'm going with Aunt
Sydney to get a tattoo."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Teenager, without even blinking: "Okay."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>August 8, 2012</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Me:
"Okay, quiet please, because I'm working."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "Okay."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">(Pause)</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "Hey, Mom - guess who the king of the
beavers is!"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: *sigh*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>August 18, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "Mom, where's my Doctor Who backpack?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "I ordered it, but it's not here yet."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "When's it gonna get here?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "In about a month."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "?!?!? Whyyyyyyy? That's no fair!"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: " 'Gee, I sure am lucky my mom will get me cool
stuff from halfway across the world. I'll have to wait patiently to show my
gratitude.' You are really spoiled, you know that?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "But Moooooom..."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Oh, go blow something up and leave me alone. Brat."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Me (to Husband): "You're
such a jerk."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Hubs: "Thanks. I practice in the mirror."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: --- (Can't speak because I'm laughing too hard.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>August 22, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Shorty:
"Look what I found in my pocket today! A missile!"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: .......<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>August 27, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Shorty (to
his father): "Dad, do me a solid."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "BWHAHAHAHA!!!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Hubs:
"Hey, get Shorty some orange juice."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "I gave him life - can't YOU give him orange
juice?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>September 6, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Shorty
watching the last episode of Doctor Who 2005 season: "He just left Jack
behind?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Yes."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "That was rude!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Shorty:
"Is the sun ever going to expand?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Sure, eventually."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "What day?"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "How should I know? We'll be long gone, so
it's not like it matters."</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Shorty: "LONG GONE! YAY! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: ----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>September 8, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent">Teenager:
"But, Mom, I can't go to bed yet! Somewhere out there, someone is being
wrong on the Internet!"</span><br />
<span class="usercontent">Me: "Fine. Two more hours."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><b><u>September 25, 2012</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="usercontent"> Me:
“No one takes themselves as seriously as the young and the rich.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-47062271144953290242014-05-29T08:50:00.002-04:002014-05-29T08:50:19.852-04:00Flirting with PoetryIn recent months, I've written a handful of poems. While they may not have much merit, they're mine, so I thought I'd share them here.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<b><u>We Were Green</u></b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was green. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We were flying and the sun-dappled wonder</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Became our hearts while our minds</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clasped hands to burn sunlight</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The wonder so hard to reach and the blue</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So far away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the wisps of dream colors would stay</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until the breeze carried thickening down</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To the sparkling dark-diamonds of farewell.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We were young.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The warmth kept us safe</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So that hearts could pound</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Arms could reach</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Feet could dance</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Songs could soar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until the day when they couldn’t anymore.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I recall how it felt back then</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When it was green.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br />
<b><u>More</u></b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I loved you so much more</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you were waxy and gray</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the whole world stood on you</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I whistled</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now you are golden and untouched</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And it’s all very sad to me</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The only thing that I like</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is your plinth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And only because of the word</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Plinth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rolls off the tongue</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And if you rolled </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your perch would be precarious</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And you might say</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No more rolling for you because</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even if you fell</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t think I’d love you anymore</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I would still enjoy saying it</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Plinth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Won’t you miss it, though</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The bombastic abuse </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the unicorn-fiction </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of your hopes that someday</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’d stop whistling</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And they’d see you</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Waxy and gray and so lovely</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The way you were to me</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I whistled</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br />
<b><u>Boarding House Requiem</u></b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When open, the eyes do sing aloud and long and shimmer</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But closing, bend the weight of care along forgetful paths</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, too, must I go before you to open, close, and fade</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The garment worn when open still is shed and shreds and
shatters</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your persistent face I think will stay upon my path the
longest</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Though mine was a shadow to you even before we met</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And my garments now bear the print of your eyes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Can I walk this way without your hands having laid the very
stones</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or do my works mark the measure of the steps of your own</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sight unwavering though I fail to blink and blush and
stammer and hold</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because if I were to lose myself now…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where would you go?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a requiem that has played since that birth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We together constructed these worlds, these hearts, these
pains</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The children of our hearts did sing so loudly for a time</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until clasped hands unclenched and the clock advanced</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eyes close even as the cloth wraps more tightly</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My lips form the truths that I cannot speak aloud</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know you; I know you; I know you—</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that truest heart for which we both mourn is the one we
created together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Bound</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am selfish and childish</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Out-of-turn, wildish</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And still, here I stay at your feet</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your vanity is apparent</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But my devotion is inherent</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The balance clings you to me</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cruel and so brittle</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bitter and uncivil</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cold was the day we did meet</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trapped and constrained</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In love have I changed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is no will in me to be free</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you were kinder</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or if I were blinder</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two different people we’d be</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I worship your claws</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You adore all my flaws</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And in mutual pain we do cleave</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Parisian Mime's Lament</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could hold you close, but you’re gone </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve lost any hope of you, and you’re gone</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’m miles away from who you are today</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could have held you once, but you’re gone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could face your fears, but you’re gone</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those battles you lost, and you’re gone</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And my arms reach out to soothe your doubt</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could have helped you once, but you’re gone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could kiss your lips, but you’re gone</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I tried but missed, and you’re gone</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And though I ache for you like I expected to</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could have loved you more, but you’re gone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipEgYjay6c9W5NtKBMl6VG209rIz549bkyOOhJYXdvGq9EivzaLAGj6xQD0pqN4zS4zL1FoJGEf6de4D-k9TlaZxN2Sdr8DumrfQfv9rL2Iz1lu4xmeNxMStbfYi7ORIGrsQ-ni3TA-pV-/s1600/DSC_0086.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipEgYjay6c9W5NtKBMl6VG209rIz549bkyOOhJYXdvGq9EivzaLAGj6xQD0pqN4zS4zL1FoJGEf6de4D-k9TlaZxN2Sdr8DumrfQfv9rL2Iz1lu4xmeNxMStbfYi7ORIGrsQ-ni3TA-pV-/s1600/DSC_0086.JPG" height="320" width="211" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Regrets are like Roses</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="null">Regrets are like roses, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="null">Their tender thorns <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="null">Do prick and wound <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="null">With beautiful scorn <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="null">And e'er the soul know discontent <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="null">The flower blooms and soon is spent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="null"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNhZFeIUyi9jIsMmJY3neo5k0eHGuSJYCIoZ8xiM0nqNqlVOHeUQDd2SEbPRVJfp3rnub10cLtqGmQDN7btYHUn2hqgoCNvjkNOZMPf4JkqVP3lP7x4FoXAPfaxO5MuLsiSGm0rPgb0Ljr/s1600/DSC_0355.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNhZFeIUyi9jIsMmJY3neo5k0eHGuSJYCIoZ8xiM0nqNqlVOHeUQDd2SEbPRVJfp3rnub10cLtqGmQDN7btYHUn2hqgoCNvjkNOZMPf4JkqVP3lP7x4FoXAPfaxO5MuLsiSGm0rPgb0Ljr/s1600/DSC_0355.JPG" height="320" width="211" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="null"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Why</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I asked</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Would you even</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Try to find </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lie</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That might quiet me</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Make my question</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Silent</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As my words so often</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To you are</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unheard</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Refracting off</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diamond-hard conviction</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That your reasons are</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So much better than mine</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But you still</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Will not even say</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwo3IBok3qWO3gpILYFn6T9WxPBwheJa2fWlFQjgoBmiy8pKaCzEqlQbgOrQZBPy3iRW6wDiCKHMrE1SwWgO0ubnjbeLB1Re7FyNVcs_vyDMWgIggGkLy8DxxAHg1G7Vpe5oS5oE63lOpC/s1600/DSC_0346.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwo3IBok3qWO3gpILYFn6T9WxPBwheJa2fWlFQjgoBmiy8pKaCzEqlQbgOrQZBPy3iRW6wDiCKHMrE1SwWgO0ubnjbeLB1Re7FyNVcs_vyDMWgIggGkLy8DxxAHg1G7Vpe5oS5oE63lOpC/s1600/DSC_0346.JPG" height="320" width="211" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>My Love is Like</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My love is like a red, red rose</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My hate is like a garden hose</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And all the spaces in between</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fertile with words I didn't mean</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-73710711412038906332014-03-01T00:00:00.000-05:002016-04-30T22:15:14.967-04:00Setting: Selection and Significance<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;">By definition, every novel must have at least one setting.
Even if a science fiction author were to write about a character floating
around in a great abyss of nothingness, that abyss is still the place where
things happen (or don’t happen, as the case may be). So how do writers choose
the location for their story? How much does that choice matter to the story?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRrCCEYYnYdzwZuEmk3HTKuikgo9e8eMDTKLU17AMNfgQeOkDe6xnUJy2DYQxs1Qv_x4vK3VAMmRlFmCWYuJSD1gWlVQIwuA7u7-kNDI4Hdj_7GCSgEMoQIzbD_C1wQChJ4pWjaAWvZ-5u/s1600/My_Apple_Tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRrCCEYYnYdzwZuEmk3HTKuikgo9e8eMDTKLU17AMNfgQeOkDe6xnUJy2DYQxs1Qv_x4vK3VAMmRlFmCWYuJSD1gWlVQIwuA7u7-kNDI4Hdj_7GCSgEMoQIzbD_C1wQChJ4pWjaAWvZ-5u/s1600/My_Apple_Tree.jpg" width="211" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In my first novella, <i>My
Apple Tree</i>, the setting was never specified for the reader. It could have
been any town, really. The reality was that in my own mind the story was set in
Joplin, Missouri, my mother’s hometown. The setting in this case was more important
to me than the reader, and it definitely influenced the way I felt about the
story and the choices I made concerning the plot and characters. After a
devastating tornado leveled a third of the city, I went to visit my family
there. What I saw had a profound impact on me, and that overwhelming mix of
grief and rebirth was transferred to the story and my characters. So in that
instance, the setting was very significant, but not in a way that the audience
would necessarily be aware of. Normally, I would post pictures to illustrate my point. Although I do have pictures of the affected area, the devastation and loss these people faced is too personal to broadcast. However, the cover photo was taken at a nearby cemetery where much of my family is buried, and so that, too, has deep personal significance for me.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdrWoE4T9fZdYOx9a-rqfpEIa_RB-P5v6AdoP2tgvzZPUuxiB65s9Sh_JdiZbE2zYBDBGgYMdJpK-0JXQFoCc0DFUmYdwZhICCdXAI9mrHidTCWJRgX4lIqSZM3KEX_5HyjXPg9Em-UbWY/s1600/WC_Draft1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdrWoE4T9fZdYOx9a-rqfpEIa_RB-P5v6AdoP2tgvzZPUuxiB65s9Sh_JdiZbE2zYBDBGgYMdJpK-0JXQFoCc0DFUmYdwZhICCdXAI9mrHidTCWJRgX4lIqSZM3KEX_5HyjXPg9Em-UbWY/s1600/WC_Draft1.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The significance of setting was flipped around for <i>Wishing Cotton</i>. For this story, the
setting I envisioned was entirely fictional. I just needed a summer resort on a
beach, with isolated cabins and a nearby funfair to suit the needs of my story.
In other words, the setting was determined by the demands of the plot rather
than the other way around. Beyond its function to support the story I wanted to
tell, the setting has no further significance to me as a writer. Because of
this, the only details I provide are ones that are necessary in order to
present each scene clearly. Otherwise, the characters could be anywhere else
and the plot could remain largely unaffected.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW7dQ0z_HXqlwnUppxbvN3EaEVH5HuFyMh6Wv2YJcAqWfaiZv4cGvD8rNEpwtpr9p9YgAXG0fsSqfg4auQ2ie5PL7qvg9cZioo4dGluag87j90RiNjSmbSV5Ocqu5dL-3A23_LSM6SrXFp/s1600/TTS_front-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW7dQ0z_HXqlwnUppxbvN3EaEVH5HuFyMh6Wv2YJcAqWfaiZv4cGvD8rNEpwtpr9p9YgAXG0fsSqfg4auQ2ie5PL7qvg9cZioo4dGluag87j90RiNjSmbSV5Ocqu5dL-3A23_LSM6SrXFp/s1600/TTS_front-2.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Setting again became important when I wrote my historical
romance, <i>The Truth Seekers</i>. For this
novel, I used a real-life location as the foundation for the story. Although I
employ a great deal of artistic license, my protagonists Geoffrey Hawes and
Miranda Claridge meet for the first time in an unnamed fictional community that
is based on the very real Chautauqua Institution in New York State. </span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ-bEcf2xsAaq9lA41qK9k_OK8c-GydYI9Ssvalm4DY0tArzdTSQd3DfjOfspNyBE4TpyukgOW5kYAC08NQOUhMCnmO7-_28KsAjzAjSuZlMyk_qiB2l01d_7dddPTOPeHT8yPRduksVM4/s1600/DSC_0117.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ-bEcf2xsAaq9lA41qK9k_OK8c-GydYI9Ssvalm4DY0tArzdTSQd3DfjOfspNyBE4TpyukgOW5kYAC08NQOUhMCnmO7-_28KsAjzAjSuZlMyk_qiB2l01d_7dddPTOPeHT8yPRduksVM4/s1600/DSC_0117.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Athenaeum Hotel</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The grounds
of this historic community preserve a great deal of the world that Geoffrey and
Miranda would have inhabited, and the focus on philosophy, art, music, and
learning lends itself to a novel of this type. It was simple to imagine two
Victorian lovers debating the merits of different social and philosophical
principles in such a setting. While I did change a number of minor details,
such as turning the very real Packard Manor into the governor’s mansion, the
architecture, landscape, and pace of the location are kept very true to life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Nuvg10GHAaw" width="560"></iframe>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Geoffrey first encounters Miranda in the Hall of Philosophy,
which not only is a real building on the grounds at Chautauqua, but also is the
source of the book’s title. </span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/g-JB9JAkNTc" width="560"></iframe>
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The Chautauqua Literary and Scientific Circle is
the longest continuously running book club in the United States, and for many
years, each year’s theme was preserved in mosaics running along the floor of
the Hall. Visitors to the Hall of Philosophy can easily find The Truth Seekers
mosaic.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyhgYzuFutz-33N_BO106KJv6gPp0JYuzymxBtkEjzrL4ANax2ow_LnQphLQ5fC8l5TE-PxiFwS20h8A1H3Xg8e7cYtAsrayXBhvc1yOxYufYjrN6WofygLXwPHbaNrW-KVfmzEK1CXXed/s1600/DSC_0448.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyhgYzuFutz-33N_BO106KJv6gPp0JYuzymxBtkEjzrL4ANax2ow_LnQphLQ5fC8l5TE-PxiFwS20h8A1H3Xg8e7cYtAsrayXBhvc1yOxYufYjrN6WofygLXwPHbaNrW-KVfmzEK1CXXed/s1600/DSC_0448.JPG" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In many ways, my love of Chautauqua influenced my handling
of Geoffrey and Miranda’s story, but at the same time, it would not have been
possible to envision their story in the first place without having experienced
the setting beforehand. This is a place where it is easy to picture what life
must have been like one hundred years ago, and it is also a place where one can
feel the passage of time and the natural continuity of life and love and time.
A great deal of the grounds have remained largely unchanged and are teeming
with artists, authors, poets, dancers, musicians, theologians, and thinkers. It
would be near impossible for a creative person to be in such an environment and
not be inspired. Because of this, <i>The
Truth Seekers</i> became not only a love story between two people, but it is
also the story of an author’s love for a place. I hope that by bringing
Geoffrey and Miranda’s world to life, I have also captured in some small way
the magic of this small, precious community.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCyfc-9qxPiy8UBnJwlE40uJ4NUEP6XUior8hRPYqCBWslKqJR9d6YjpSOE1BnLvzVkoE19EbTjm-ZKzO3v_Y-nvbiJt5DJjvlWeCkwYMWczyZuuZndfqaty3nO5TVq4ZVRfl_AD2DBPiV/s1600/DSC_0116.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCyfc-9qxPiy8UBnJwlE40uJ4NUEP6XUior8hRPYqCBWslKqJR9d6YjpSOE1BnLvzVkoE19EbTjm-ZKzO3v_Y-nvbiJt5DJjvlWeCkwYMWczyZuuZndfqaty3nO5TVq4ZVRfl_AD2DBPiV/s1600/DSC_0116.JPG" width="211" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Miller Bell Tower on Lake Chautauqua</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">In these three examples, you see how differently setting can
be used to shape and influence a story and its characters. For writers, it is
important to consider the role setting plays in a piece so that the handling of
locations and environments complements the tale you are trying to tell. For
readers, it is often a subtle influence that can color your perception of the
world each new character inhabits. Either way, settings are something to enjoy
and explore, even if only in one’s imagination.</span></div>
</div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-76162489704925689012014-02-28T08:30:00.000-05:002014-02-28T08:30:28.647-05:00On Failure<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am a failure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">(Stick with me. My story gets better.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">February has always been a miserable month for me, and this
one was especially so. Now that it’s (thankfully) the final day of that month,
I’ve been thinking about all the ways I’ve fallen short over the course of my
life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">In grade school, I stopped doing my homework because it was
uninteresting, unchallenging, and silly, and I’d figured out that my grades at
that level weren’t really going to impact my future enough to worry over. In
high school, I did do my work, but I didn’t actually try. I made no effort to
excel or distinguish myself. The after-school clubs were left unjoined, and
papers and projects alike were completed like a recipe in the kitchen—one cup
of hypothesis, three tablespoons of salient points, a dash of reference
material, and bake. I was not engaged; I was a mass-production line.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">It had always been assumed that college would be my time to
shine. While the classes were far more interesting, I still did not put
anything close to my best effort into my work. I dated a thoroughly unsuitable
boy, bringing him home to meet my parents and ensuring many sleepless nights
for them while they worried I’d keep him (I didn’t). My performance at school
was perfectly adequate, but that was all. There was nothing on paper to show
that I was intelligent, unique, and had something to offer the world. I did not
go on to graduate school as I’d wanted, and I did not land a decent job when I
graduated. It was several years before I had anything even remotely resembling a
career, and I was only brought to it out of necessity rather than ambition.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">While the official reason for my departure from that career was
my children’s special needs, there will forever be a voice in the back of my
head adding that another reason was that I sucked at it. It never felt real to
me, and I was incredibly unhappy. I couldn’t be one of those moms who juggle
everything, keep lists, vacuum more than once a year, and get up at 5 a.m. to
do Pilates. In a lot of ways, when I quit my job to stay home, I felt like I
was bailing on adulthood.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Since then, I’ve edited a pile of novels and published my own
work. My royalties are abysmal. I do nothing to change that, make no effort to really
market and promote. I even am seized with the impulse to apologize to those who
have spent money on my books.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sorry I suck. Better luck next time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">However. If I hadn’t lived the life I’ve led, so many things
would have been lost. I never would have dated my husband if I hadn’t been so
determined to date my ex’s opposite. I never would have been a parent who could
respond to her children’s social and academic anxiety with compassion and
understanding. I never would have been able to support my friends without
judgment when their lives fell apart. I never would have learned how to engage
and really try when the object is genuinely important to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I have unpaid bills, holes in my carpets, and missing
plaster on my walls. My house will never be on the historical register. I may
never be a successful author. My kids will definitely never be entirely “normal.”
My middle-age spread has evolved into what might be called a hostile takeover
of neighboring space. I frequently forget to floss. In the eyes of the world
around me, I am a failure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">When I’m with my husband, it still feels like we’re dating.
I still get butterflies in my stomach when he smiles at me. When I talk to my
children, I see whole worlds in their eyes that no one else can access but
them. When I help an author understand how to tap into a manuscript’s full
potential, I feel a huge sense of accomplishment, as well as gratitude for the
opportunity to be a part of that process. When I write, I am happy and focused
and learn to know myself better. I stretch and challenge and grow.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Being a failure is pretty damn fantastic.</span></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-54167865231257346052014-02-20T11:29:00.001-05:002014-02-20T11:29:17.883-05:00Why is Writing so Hard?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
My husband, bless him, believes
that I’m talented. This means that he has trouble understanding why I haven’t
written ten best-sellers already. “Just write it,” he says, blissfully unaware
of the challenges that he’s waving aside so dismissively.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
He’s not entirely wrong, of
course. To write a book, there is a critical requirement that at some point
your butt hits a chair and you write it. No matter what your “process” is, at
the end of the day you must translate your ideas and imaginings to paper.
However, there is a lot more that goes into the creation of a novel than that,
and it is often these invisible considerations that make the task so daunting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b>1. First, the writer must overcome “I-Suck-itis.” </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6dky3sgFuRUjI8o1rl9fjd451oOEv4l7792ssqe9hYSvqp1xazhsOAfU4p3t6IznHktZBUtZYezC4SobUeb-lE41o2TfbPNuROmbRZQHQAoLlq4ZvcEXWqbMn5u6uvVI0DzTtI2uv8z5J/s1600/ID-10089792+Image+courtesy+of+imagerymajestic+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6dky3sgFuRUjI8o1rl9fjd451oOEv4l7792ssqe9hYSvqp1xazhsOAfU4p3t6IznHktZBUtZYezC4SobUeb-lE41o2TfbPNuROmbRZQHQAoLlq4ZvcEXWqbMn5u6uvVI0DzTtI2uv8z5J/s1600/ID-10089792+Image+courtesy+of+imagerymajestic+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" height="320" title="Image courtesy of imagerymajestic - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="212" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The split second that you start listening to that voice in your head that tells
you all your ideas are rubbish and your writing is crap, you are done. While an
inflated ego is not required, you do have to have at least a whisper of belief
that what you write has merit and will appeal to someone out there. Because we
all have good days and bad days, a lot of writing time is lost to those moments
when we are grappling with self-doubt. Even disciplined writers with daily
quotas have been known to meet those quotas by writing about how badly they
suck. Often after a bad review or critique.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b>2. Next, the writer must address the
limitations of an idea. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5_r6CCFTJJ-Y-Baivx6UzDO1oEu3R1lKFaRRTCtt9V2c4h0vLCFJi7362iAUgGGd9HAOrfh3cOjsVx9YhTYUBQX2HOjAqE6Ukb4HS2KeWyWNt16QU6BZNFFhMDqhTOfksET1QSDTjbcZ4/s1600/ID-10097958+Image+courtesy+of+imagerymajestic+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5_r6CCFTJJ-Y-Baivx6UzDO1oEu3R1lKFaRRTCtt9V2c4h0vLCFJi7362iAUgGGd9HAOrfh3cOjsVx9YhTYUBQX2HOjAqE6Ukb4HS2KeWyWNt16QU6BZNFFhMDqhTOfksET1QSDTjbcZ4/s1600/ID-10097958+Image+courtesy+of+imagerymajestic+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" height="212" title="Image courtesy of imagerymajestic - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
You want to write a story about the caretaker of a
creepy old house who must fight off four trespassing teenagers and a large talking
dog? Great. What happens? How does the tension build? How will each character
develop? What is the climax? In other words, just coming up with an exciting
premise for a book is not the same thing as figuring out the complexities of
plot and character that come together to bring that premise to life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b>3. The characters. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJBxRTn75O6zQIA9QFoKTqdMxP9_LOozXGaG_k6JDHodjyUqxb_ER1qluxxTZdfOwhIPsG0-DKu7ZW7wd17g32JcG5am7dvhbNXIUHz0oNY92FpG2FBA6njAa8n_fMautA79wIznlZfeMb/s1600/ID-10075290+Image+courtesy+of+basketman+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJBxRTn75O6zQIA9QFoKTqdMxP9_LOozXGaG_k6JDHodjyUqxb_ER1qluxxTZdfOwhIPsG0-DKu7ZW7wd17g32JcG5am7dvhbNXIUHz0oNY92FpG2FBA6njAa8n_fMautA79wIznlZfeMb/s1600/ID-10075290+Image+courtesy+of+basketman+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" height="212" title="Image courtesy of basketman - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Non-writers do
not understand that once a character is given life, its creator has about as
much control over it as a parent does over a teen-aged daughter’s moods.
Frequently, characters wander off in unplottable directions, and the author is
left scrambling to catch up. These little surprises can often turn the story
outline on its ear, stretching and challenging the writer to come up with new
ideas and solutions. This requires a lot of thinking, pacing, and muttering to
oneself. Hair-pulling and inarticulate growls can also manifest themselves.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b>4. Then there’s real life. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmw1h5Vd_ex12pvB7Kwyf5HLLCwfCmGY6tetamCMoBa9hu_C4gpVEudt3bdzCSFKYwVj8SDUcIOegyq0ZhSM5qfuW8VTm4IaFcL8acyk62vRFo0dYRfwCGlE3omsFC-PmwNicU2YTDpq15/s1600/ID-10055791+Image+courtesy+of+Phaitoon+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmw1h5Vd_ex12pvB7Kwyf5HLLCwfCmGY6tetamCMoBa9hu_C4gpVEudt3bdzCSFKYwVj8SDUcIOegyq0ZhSM5qfuW8VTm4IaFcL8acyk62vRFo0dYRfwCGlE3omsFC-PmwNicU2YTDpq15/s1600/ID-10055791+Image+courtesy+of+Phaitoon+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" height="212" title="Image courtesy of Phaitoon - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Spouses
and children expect to be interacted with on a semi-regular basis. Some attention
to hygiene must be paid as well. Phones must be answered, taxes must be filed,
and food must be purchased and consumed. Even if a writer were to be able to
neglect all these things indefinitely, it would still be a problem, since we
must experience these human interactions and activities in order to write
realistically. So much inspiration comes from the small moments in our days
that becoming a hermit to write a book is a self-defeating tactic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I would love to be a full-time
novelist, but it’s not feasible. Bills must be paid, and working as an editor
makes that more likely to happen. When I’m not editing, I still have two
special-needs children to tend to (sometimes three, if my husband is having a
rough day). I do have a work in progress currently that I’d like to take a
determined stab at finishing, so I plan to blog about that process periodically
in the hopes that this may give me further insight into my own writing process.
Also, I think some readers might find it interesting. Let's see how far my husband's "just write it" approach can get me!</div>
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<![endif]-->Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-30071271558927105312013-12-23T01:00:00.000-05:002013-12-23T01:00:02.758-05:00Disgustingly Sentimental Christmas Blog<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
It is perhaps both typical and
telling that my Christmas blog post begins with a recent conversation I had
with a psychologist. After all, the holidays are all about families, and if
ever a family existed to stun therapists the world over, it’s mine. </div>
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<br /></div>
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This particular doctor asked me
to describe a typical Christmas celebration in my family.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Typical? Um..."</td></tr>
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<br /></div>
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Now, I actually do feel some pity
for the mental health care professionals who deal with me and mine, so I didn’t
laugh in his face. Bless the man, I’m sure he was envisioning a large, rowdy
get-together with shared jokes and stories and children’s laughter amid bows
and ribbons and eggnog. I can’t honestly say I’ve ever actually encountered
eggnog in the flesh. It’s always seemed like an exotic myth, like flying reindeer
or benevolent carolers who weren’t paid to be there.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Nowadays, Christmas in my home consists
of loosely organized wrapping paper carnage first thing in the morning,
followed by the requisite pilgrimage to my parents’ house for dinner. There, we
eat on fancy plates we’ll have to hand wash, and there will be at least one or
two properly strange contributions to the menu. One year when I was very pregnant,
it was fresh mint in the green beans, which my sensitive nose did not
appreciate. There is no children’s table, so we all participate in one central
conversation, which sounds really lively and convivial until you remember who
is sitting at the table.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The older generation governs the
ebb and flow of conversation. In my case, these wise forebears are my father,
mother, aunt, and uncle. For the uninitiated, that’s a Doctor of Inorganic
Chemistry and former Director of Technology of a major international
corporation; a Doctor of English Literature and former Executive Director for
yet another international corporation; the former head of Literature for the
area’s most important library and current darling of theater luminaries, who
are forever begging her for research and copies of long-forgotten musical
scores; and a history scholar who also is something of an expert in oriental
rugs and organic fruit for reasons that escape me. Two Republicans and two
Democrats. Two Episcopalians and two Roman Catholics.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To say that the dinner
conversation is a tad academic would be putting it mildly. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiftfBx1yj_VIVEczMaqp7L1Pjrkl1h4wkfVbE6sm-BbzyoilPRNg4Vfa_urd7QImwr6pGq8gbhnVkEKKK_XueRfysBSoY4jPrhMxfCbogpcGgPoB1v45OxYeCc8BzBDp1VdHr9UKhvoy1J/s1600/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+Supertrooper+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiftfBx1yj_VIVEczMaqp7L1Pjrkl1h4wkfVbE6sm-BbzyoilPRNg4Vfa_urd7QImwr6pGq8gbhnVkEKKK_XueRfysBSoY4jPrhMxfCbogpcGgPoB1v45OxYeCc8BzBDp1VdHr9UKhvoy1J/s320/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+Supertrooper+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of Supertrooper - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The evening ends with a frankly
bloodthirsty game of Monopoly between my mother and aunt. The rest of us have
learned not to interfere. The noncombatants swill glasses of port, nibble
ginger cookies, and stare at the fire until a decent interval has passed and we
can disperse.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, this is my father’s side
of the family. When I was a child, we spent Christmases with my mother’s
family.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt1ihqD3LFBnqPPynmE-R3zW6Aov1EwSthL4ITyUfrIRSw7kqItRUXdzlapH8yvUz73c9bu94Y9CgjKq-3zaYE-5DtEaB9SsPA4YTgCofyK6Afso0R9Ol4yEqgCAnJaMPSRe3WHo2MP918/s1600/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+Iamnee+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt1ihqD3LFBnqPPynmE-R3zW6Aov1EwSthL4ITyUfrIRSw7kqItRUXdzlapH8yvUz73c9bu94Y9CgjKq-3zaYE-5DtEaB9SsPA4YTgCofyK6Afso0R9Ol4yEqgCAnJaMPSRe3WHo2MP918/s320/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+Iamnee+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of Iamnee - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Sing it, Perry!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Christmas in Kansas was possibly
my favorite childhood memory. Granny would make chocolate and peanut butter
fudge, my grandfather would smoke his pipe and growl at everyone, my mother
would dither, and my father would immerse himself in a crossword puzzle. My
cousins and I would dress the Pomeranian in felt dolls’ clothes, hammer at the
organ until our elders yelled, and laugh late into the night when my mother’s
eyes would bulge with rage and we’d finally settle down. We sometimes wandered
down to what was rather optimistically called the park, but was really a stone
arch that gave way to a muddy clearing with a couple of large, cement pipes
half-embedded in the grass. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The shed at the back of the house
was perfect for exploring, and I remember laughing over my mother’s impossibly
pointed shoes from the 1950s and my grandfather’s naughty magazines. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do they still make Shrinky Dinks?
Those things were pure genius. This was also the era of Star Wars. What 1970s
childhood could be complete without a Princess Leia doll with real hair? Of
course those gigantic buns didn’t last long, but she was still one of my
favorite toys. I had an Uhura doll, too. I know you’re jealous.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieMWFWIuH6LAvHLpnEckLyEvY2Pt9W1SrEpDGYB2-EAqAThp9nlRzqDYDuMxgOpjo1t4Gw5mDvwpXvzCMacBN4tHIlClevmJIhDZrQFDc2JVV1uurNVGfs-Sm_q42HHWMdSzMbF5P_2w6b/s1600/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+Suat+Eman+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieMWFWIuH6LAvHLpnEckLyEvY2Pt9W1SrEpDGYB2-EAqAThp9nlRzqDYDuMxgOpjo1t4Gw5mDvwpXvzCMacBN4tHIlClevmJIhDZrQFDc2JVV1uurNVGfs-Sm_q42HHWMdSzMbF5P_2w6b/s320/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+Suat+Eman+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of Suat Eman - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="212" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The tree was plastic and
glorious, the long drape of tinsel falling from star to floor, providing tantalizing
peeks at the gaudy World War II era ornaments beneath. Perry Como would be
crooning Christmas carols over the eight-track player, and I would scamper out
in my prim Muppet Show nightgown with the frill at the ankle and bask in the
excitement and anticipation. We children were always well-rested on Christmas
morning, thanks to the administration of Granny’s famous hot toddies the night
before. In later years, Granny got lazy and would just hand out shots of vodka.
All I know is that we never stayed up late on Christmas Eve. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaLZkYPFxZNWCMXT4bqrIdyk5dAcciIoY-INh5m2AXe9Bsll7j5lgMqnMF9XqBslj-cT-dbIkiW8FQUyachuYTgJOtkJ7j1BFMgcfwz6dLo0R0mZpyLj84EBaz1IdoHQvH8owdBbgL11Rr/s1600/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+stockimages+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaLZkYPFxZNWCMXT4bqrIdyk5dAcciIoY-INh5m2AXe9Bsll7j5lgMqnMF9XqBslj-cT-dbIkiW8FQUyachuYTgJOtkJ7j1BFMgcfwz6dLo0R0mZpyLj84EBaz1IdoHQvH8owdBbgL11Rr/s320/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+stockimages+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of stockimages - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ho-ho-hangover</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s amazing how many of your
childhood experiences can’t be repeated with your own children just because it
would land you in jail.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWQLinaciuROUgaXPoICUj0SwqViXpRHQI_o_F-hn27cZZ07ZFvjUuWL-boWChMNcBK6iwY3VYRDuEK1Bq5z0Svb7B3vbC8_RQ9RmSRIpkZkiUM4J1ob4hHxpPTUEsyCBSa-pDW6hRZ5ia/s1600/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+imagerymajestic+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWQLinaciuROUgaXPoICUj0SwqViXpRHQI_o_F-hn27cZZ07ZFvjUuWL-boWChMNcBK6iwY3VYRDuEK1Bq5z0Svb7B3vbC8_RQ9RmSRIpkZkiUM4J1ob4hHxpPTUEsyCBSa-pDW6hRZ5ia/s320/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+imagerymajestic+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of imagerymajestic - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Keep 'em coming, Granny!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, the thing my children
have missed out on (other than being knocked out with high-proof liquor) is the
large, chaotic family get-together. I suppose I could get melancholy about it,
but I think they’re happy with the less social, more sedate celebrations they’ve
grown up with. As the only children in the house, and the only grandchildren,
they are doted upon and spoiled rotten. I even occasionally catch them paying
attention to the debates over the influence of 13<sup>th</sup> Century
monasticism on the development of modern-day politics. They know they are loved
and surrounded by the familiar and comforting, and I suppose that is all a
child really needs to capture that holiday magic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fire starts to die, and the
conversation tapers off. The boys watch their great-aunt tuck their dozing
mother under a blanket, and they are amused that here, their mother is still a
child. Their grandfather magically produces the batteries that weren’t included,
while their father mutters over microscopic screws as he assembles the most
interesting toy (now that the gouges from the hard plastic packaging have stopped
bleeding). Grandmother cackles, malicious glee marking the acquisition of Park
Place. Her victim groans, and her rueful laughter becomes part of the tapestry
of my children’s memories.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-wUTBbFx0Lq1Edwp-jDjhfxdQYmsLWwr8uUnedJ764lpbI9PCzfrrIf3mMZoQXW39GUK-RGN21VfvknQZZFCD4QXwIjQ4TFqTWP0ZsGgo7dIbE1g7RJBCz_d57VALmZV7Y86_ZH-9vOfQ/s1600/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+James+Barker+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-wUTBbFx0Lq1Edwp-jDjhfxdQYmsLWwr8uUnedJ764lpbI9PCzfrrIf3mMZoQXW39GUK-RGN21VfvknQZZFCD4QXwIjQ4TFqTWP0ZsGgo7dIbE1g7RJBCz_d57VALmZV7Y86_ZH-9vOfQ/s320/Christmas+Image+courtesy+of+James+Barker+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image Courtesy of James Barker - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mother's kingdom.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What we pass on to our children
and grandchildren isn’t the tradition. Presents at night or morning, holiday
supper or breakfast or tea, midnight mass or sunrise service. None of that
matters much. I know that lots of people don’t get those holiday warm fuzzy
feelings, and this will sound like sentimental rubbish to them. That’s okay.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV63Fh6J412y51JadHCEdO_j8ICcIeh4MV3vCW-KyNHHVY7BuS4SAWipnv8Ov7D1cyFns4WrN9tQcTQlwjVryy9URFLAf1Z_PYTsD6lVAKgBtM3it373oR9OKZ-6XsXiGQcArnuaIrVBDe/s1600/Christmas+2+Image+courtesy+of+stockimages+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV63Fh6J412y51JadHCEdO_j8ICcIeh4MV3vCW-KyNHHVY7BuS4SAWipnv8Ov7D1cyFns4WrN9tQcTQlwjVryy9URFLAf1Z_PYTsD6lVAKgBtM3it373oR9OKZ-6XsXiGQcArnuaIrVBDe/s320/Christmas+2+Image+courtesy+of+stockimages+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of stockimages - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I totally respect your opinion.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My point is that, regardless of
whether you celebrate Saturnalia, Hanukkah, Christmas, or nothing at all, the
rituals that bind a family exist to comfort and reassure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are reminded of our connectedness, even as
the world changes around us. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When a new family starts out, new
traditions grow out of the disparate backgrounds of both parents. Children grow
up and make their own families, with new traditions of their own. What matters
most is that we retain that connectedness and honor what has gone before,
without allowing it to hold us captive to the past. We let our memories warm
and reassure us, taking a deep breath of that fortifying air, and then return
to the world for another year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know what answer that
psychologist was looking for from me. The Christmas of my childhood is long
gone, as is that of my husband. I’ve taken the elements from my memories that
were the most magical and preserved them for my own children, but by and large,
we celebrate in our own way. While I may occasionally feel a sentimental twinge
for the way things used to be, I know that we need to embrace the changes in
our families to move forward. We can rejoice in some changes, while others
break our hearts. At the end of the day, the holidays are for sharing love, memories,
solace, and gratitude with each other. That’s the part we need to preserve most
of all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiUmMNAaIowQe4flDz6MpapEbaITSv8ZuMbZXUVk0C2Hypm8ORSi_tA06AMpB5rpheeT83kHBfgCAXGTWWEMSaZuSjq3pNhLoOw5gmHLtz-oYGA0lTEufU3Tk56_iBvZaYdPPigbXIhPkd/s1600/Christmas+2+Image+courtesy+of+imagerymajestic+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiUmMNAaIowQe4flDz6MpapEbaITSv8ZuMbZXUVk0C2Hypm8ORSi_tA06AMpB5rpheeT83kHBfgCAXGTWWEMSaZuSjq3pNhLoOw5gmHLtz-oYGA0lTEufU3Tk56_iBvZaYdPPigbXIhPkd/s320/Christmas+2+Image+courtesy+of+imagerymajestic+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of imagerymajestic - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And Perry Como. Gotta preserve the Perry.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-3092338709402964192013-12-06T22:54:00.000-05:002013-12-07T00:45:28.861-05:00Life on the Spectrum's Edge<!--[if !mso]>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This is long, serious, and personal. It has
nothing to do with writing or books and everything to do with real life. I’ll
understand if you choose not to read it, but I hope you will.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">There are a lot of people out there who don’t
understand the autism spectrum. That’s okay. There are a lot of us living with
it who have a dodgy grasp on it, as well. That’s part of the problem – it’s
such a wiggly, amorphous concept that trying to fully understand it is a lot
like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg0t_Y5zbdAQ5aa03n-t274yoE309Olq_mvtiYYEuUSlv7M_CwKjhpGpKjYZy64ebaFmeQDcjVn3_qG1CpJrbWVJtsNWxMHqYYOWN5qJGuP742RdCWvv15Mr-iAzEEnV_OZOFniKK13QzA/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+Apolonia+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg0t_Y5zbdAQ5aa03n-t274yoE309Olq_mvtiYYEuUSlv7M_CwKjhpGpKjYZy64ebaFmeQDcjVn3_qG1CpJrbWVJtsNWxMHqYYOWN5qJGuP742RdCWvv15Mr-iAzEEnV_OZOFniKK13QzA/s320/Image+courtesy+of+Apolonia+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of Apolonia - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Have fun with that."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">Still, we need to talk about it, because 1 in
88 children today are diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, so not having
some awareness of what “autism” means is a lot like not being aware that some
people are born with red hair.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ30PwXULx9PbfCrZwpyTKu3BC0FuWWW99rlIxLnEAwty6cuYnqdJA7f87qqKn0t6faeE-FkLLoTtTUiLw3iBwtBAwyAc_mS6R_uEHZa6N9p_PpQ0XIWBeEXPHo_ClpVVQVOO16_ORtUVt/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+David+Castillo+Dominici+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ30PwXULx9PbfCrZwpyTKu3BC0FuWWW99rlIxLnEAwty6cuYnqdJA7f87qqKn0t6faeE-FkLLoTtTUiLw3iBwtBAwyAc_mS6R_uEHZa6N9p_PpQ0XIWBeEXPHo_ClpVVQVOO16_ORtUVt/s320/Image+courtesy+of+David+Castillo+Dominici+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"It's so... not brown!!!"</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">So first, what’s with the spectrum? How come
autism gets a spectrum? Shouldn’t a person either be autistic or not autistic?
How can people who manage to function in society, hold down jobs, and have
families claim to be autistic? How can those people possibly be facing the same
challenge as Grandma Ruthie’s hairdresser’s son, who hasn’t spoken a word in
twenty years? Does the spectrum just exist to give lazy people an excuse for
blowing off important things? Or is it just doctors’ way of making autism
fancier than other disorders?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg18lS-QsruSMqgUoBubzkzcJrgADhxMq_dEawPghkxBHxniCnE2vPZzFmvZs1pUDCklbOC02JGcdsSN5KvvlXTFzrjVSh4qSeuXk3Xue6M5eaRXWvBD0cYQ2QLngNuXKFltBIYztmen20E/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+Rosen+Georgiev+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg18lS-QsruSMqgUoBubzkzcJrgADhxMq_dEawPghkxBHxniCnE2vPZzFmvZs1pUDCklbOC02JGcdsSN5KvvlXTFzrjVSh4qSeuXk3Xue6M5eaRXWvBD0cYQ2QLngNuXKFltBIYztmen20E/s320/Image+courtesy+of+Rosen+Georgiev+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of Rosen Georgiev - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Care for some champagne with your diagnosis, sir?"</td></tr>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When you meet a severely autistic person,
there is no question that their disorder is real. Human beings are quite
capable in believing in a condition when there are physical manifestations that
prove its validity. However, what many people do not understand is that autism
is not a physical issue. Autism sits in the brain. It lives in the mind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7NcsoYXBZUl-gqyfm_0QmBbiIFLTxwinbFxRGLLPL-AYSE1IES5GyxM7dFiSnM7hpRBEuz7HwUk3K2cX8sU7j3re3HF4fT5nmUKfRK4m-0aevJJitw-D2Y1yvNHYSpptavwm3Ue3877Dp/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+Ohmega1982+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7NcsoYXBZUl-gqyfm_0QmBbiIFLTxwinbFxRGLLPL-AYSE1IES5GyxM7dFiSnM7hpRBEuz7HwUk3K2cX8sU7j3re3HF4fT5nmUKfRK4m-0aevJJitw-D2Y1yvNHYSpptavwm3Ue3877Dp/s320/Image+courtesy+of+Ohmega1982+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of Ohmega1982 - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="245" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Now, I am in no way qualified to talk about
severe autism and what that experience is like for the parents of severely
autistic children. What I know, without question, is that it has to be an
intensely difficult, exhausting, often discouraging, but sometimes miraculous
experience. Non-verbal autistic people are blowing away audiences with their
unexpected vocal talents, and through the tireless intervention of families,
teachers, doctors, and friends, these people who could so easily be discounted
and marginalized are having a profound impact on the people around them. Each
of them can touch a person’s heart, even if they cannot tolerate being
physically touched themselves. Each one of them can contribute to the world in
their own unique way, whether on a large scale or small. They are not
defective. They are not less. In so many ways, they are beyond the normal, and
the world seen through their eyes is an awe-inspiring place. This is why it is
so important for us to continue to build bridges of communication. We do not
need to bring these people into our world – we need them to bring us into
theirs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3njRLhZ-6Ib_5J6W3LWw4E0zgwj3c9FOX5F8MnAe6jtnS0z9yDr9NUSPKsc3YnTsk-B3RllMyDIvF8i2FwUSzBnb0dlGTgIchviuzyBTmu2lKMuunZtf9xu6SlneB_vUZ36WN2_4tlv1h/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+num_skyman+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3njRLhZ-6Ib_5J6W3LWw4E0zgwj3c9FOX5F8MnAe6jtnS0z9yDr9NUSPKsc3YnTsk-B3RllMyDIvF8i2FwUSzBnb0dlGTgIchviuzyBTmu2lKMuunZtf9xu6SlneB_vUZ36WN2_4tlv1h/s320/Image+courtesy+of+num_skyman+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of num_skyman - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I want to tell you about my son. I will call
him Steve, since that would make him laugh. In order to talk about him, though, I first need to tell you a bit about me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Mental illness seems to run in my family.
Nothing exotic that involves drinking Kool-Aid or eating one's neighbors or anything, but it’s there.
Along with a HUGE boatload of denial. When I was in high school, I told my
parents that something was very wrong with me. They insisted that I was just “being
dramatic” as teen-aged girls are wont to be. They were wrong.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I wound up struggling on my own with
near-crippling clinical depression through the rest of high school, the
entirety of college, and into my adulthood. The longer I went without the
proper professional help, the worse my symptoms became. In my final year of
school, my boyfriend was tying my shoes for me and delivering chapters of my
thesis to my advisor on my behalf. I couldn’t have done it if you’d put a gun
to my head – not even tying my own shoes. That was the year I finally got the
help I so desperately needed, but anti-depressant drugs are tricky things, and
again my boyfriend was there, peeling me off the ceiling when the doctors
guessed wrong and reassuring me when I thought I would lose this battle for
sanity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I married him two months shy of my
twenty-fourth birthday. My new husband had graduated college a whopping five
days earlier. It was the late 1990s, and as many of our generation were
discovering, the plentiful jobs we’d been promised were simply not there. I was
working as a temp, though I was in a long-term assignment that soon afterward
became a full time position. Neither of us knew what we wanted to be when we
grew up, so when I discovered I was pregnant a year later, we found ourselves
scrambling to define who we were as productive members of society. A mere
twenty months after our wedding, Steve was born.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We were both thrilled and terrified. My
husband had buried his own father just the day before the birth, and the entire
family was emotionally wasted. I was shocked when it came time to leave the
hospital, and the nurses just handed me this tiny, fragile human being and
let us drive off with him. It was tempting to demand that they wait until a
responsible adult showed up. Twenty-five hadn’t felt unbearably young until
that moment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">As new parents do, we adjusted, learned, and
second-guessed ourselves silly, and the years began to pass. Steve was in a
nice daycare, my husband and I both had stable jobs, and my depression had
receded to a whisper that was easy to ignore. And then the letter came.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhieUfZiKkbppNm98eXyC1bExS73FmukdGAI4FgOkOBmOr0IyjVTM_WKEFOIMUxTMs-RO6VjzFdZStqt5Fa1FSE4kUQJ_8IbH52w2IAMImUDkdU7m20kZGWf-i1dI6UhY7nz7KHO0mzTRKn/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+digitalart+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhieUfZiKkbppNm98eXyC1bExS73FmukdGAI4FgOkOBmOr0IyjVTM_WKEFOIMUxTMs-RO6VjzFdZStqt5Fa1FSE4kUQJ_8IbH52w2IAMImUDkdU7m20kZGWf-i1dI6UhY7nz7KHO0mzTRKn/s320/Image+courtesy+of+digitalart+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of digitalart - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It was from the director of Steve’s daycare.
She advised us that Steve was no longer welcome to attend because his behavior
made him “a danger to himself and others.” He was three years old.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Steve had had a meltdown, they told us. The
children had been fighting over a popular toy, so the staff had removed it to a
high shelf to resolve the matter. This had upset Steve more than anyone would
have predicted, and he had lashed out, throwing his shoes and flailing around
so much that he had knocked over a wooden bookcase. It had almost fallen on a child napping nearby.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">We didn’t understand. Steve was sweet, kind,
generous, articulate, and perceptive. The child they described was a monster.
Our child – my baby – was a monster to them.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjK4rEoaW5pKHR9VJNqULZCMOJkx-lfpfLvglmrVje9SwokZiqBgjzxRdCTZZNeN1uydvPGr1DHS5YaBAXMqTQsMUPLGqliSdYCAYYDJLwTJb23vMsXCKKBHAgVA7gL-py-aHcVMAE0ab3/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+David+Castillo+Dominici+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjK4rEoaW5pKHR9VJNqULZCMOJkx-lfpfLvglmrVje9SwokZiqBgjzxRdCTZZNeN1uydvPGr1DHS5YaBAXMqTQsMUPLGqliSdYCAYYDJLwTJb23vMsXCKKBHAgVA7gL-py-aHcVMAE0ab3/s320/Image+courtesy+of+David+Castillo+Dominici+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net+2.jpg" title="Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Who, me?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We found another daycare center. This one had
more highly trained staff, and we kept them apprised while we began talking to
child psychologists to try to understand Steve’s behavior. We thought it was
our fault as parents, and that if a professional could just tell us how to fix
it, Steve would be fine. But he wasn’t fine. He loved that daycare, but they
weren’t equipped to handle him. One day, I was called to pick him up, and the
director lowered the boom. Another rejection, except this time he was aware of
it, and it hurt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When I arrived at the center, I found him in
the director’s office. He was in hysterics, crying over and over, “Help me,
help me, Mommy. I can’t stop. I can’t stop.” My heart broke. It has been twelve
years since that day, and I still cry when I think about it. My little boy was
suffering, and I was failing him. I didn’t know what to do.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSFpa0uk_7uM4Zs2s9W4pCaCQI5Xczty_0N5uETmI-nfG-ArHyTaBaLyx0L6z-bF_ZMpCOAx4gVJBPg_agEo3283ZsF_BvKAdYEpZslqbd_B-ylC1QTV9Nvyeuu8AUTnf_If3QkxqkEma1/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+Ambro+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSFpa0uk_7uM4Zs2s9W4pCaCQI5Xczty_0N5uETmI-nfG-ArHyTaBaLyx0L6z-bF_ZMpCOAx4gVJBPg_agEo3283ZsF_BvKAdYEpZslqbd_B-ylC1QTV9Nvyeuu8AUTnf_If3QkxqkEma1/s320/Image+courtesy+of+Ambro+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of Ambro - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="212" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Neither did the specialists we consulted. We
talked to everyone. We took him to the Cleveland Clinic for a battery of tests,
including allergies, vision, hearing, and anything else they could think of. I
paid his now full-time babysitter to drive with us to the All Kinds of Minds (now, Success in Mind)
center in North Carolina to have him assessed by their team of specialists. We
filled out more forms than I could have imagined, until my entire world was
reduced to “strongly agree” and “somewhat disagree.” This went on for YEARS. It
was not until he was in 3rd grade that he was diagnosed by a
neurologist with ADHD, and the medications began.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwSRfOD73Peg4UCCoDPxIo-slVynb9Xt_Fruz8C5QnVA2xFv8_NVQ6XKvAVSR6Y_Q8usfeyUewimBmmiMjgvmOo9ggk5abj4Lp3bdqZorh6bqk1QUK5vuWAEilO7y1RTL7M2_kprWJdAMD/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+renjith+krishnan+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwSRfOD73Peg4UCCoDPxIo-slVynb9Xt_Fruz8C5QnVA2xFv8_NVQ6XKvAVSR6Y_Q8usfeyUewimBmmiMjgvmOo9ggk5abj4Lp3bdqZorh6bqk1QUK5vuWAEilO7y1RTL7M2_kprWJdAMD/s320/Image+courtesy+of+renjith+krishnan+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of renjith krishnan - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The medicine helped, but not enough. Every
year, the neurologist increased the dosage, looking to mask the symptoms and
assuring me that I was being paranoid when I wondered if there wasn’t some
other issue contributing to Steve’s abnormal behavior. When he was in 6th
grade, the neurologist increased the dose again, and when I saw the pill, I
wasn’t sure Steve was physically capable of swallowing something that size. I followed my instincts and didn't administer it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We fired the neurologist. Steve’s new
psychiatrist finally – after EIGHT YEARS of consultations and treatments –
diagnosed him with high-functioning autism, which at the time was labeled Asperger’s.
By continually increasing the dosage of his medication, the neurologist had
actually put Steve at risk for heart disease. The psychiatrist also confirmed the
ADHD diagnosis, and she added one more to the mix. Steve showed undeniable signs
of anxiety disorder, and it was quite clear where that had come from.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">6th grade was a nightmare. The public middle school assured us that they were equipped to work with Steve,
but it soon became clear that this was a lie. His teachers continued to insist
that he be responsible for tasks that he was not able to manage on his own.
Rather than accommodating him or helping him, they began emailing me at work on
an almost daily basis. They wouldn’t even speak to him directly to correct the
behavior, instead choosing to report the infraction in real time to me at work.
I just kept getting emails and phone calls and being summoned for meetings, in
which they made it clear that these problems were a result of my failings as a
parent. I should be making sure he did these things. Not them. Obviously, they
could not be held accountable in the face of my flagrant inability to parent my
child.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEdCYG8u7zi0XXKwuHOdIlNZdTHvlvXeaW0_b9-CnhTwZX2S3f8YICNQs-qEMgXu4XcZQncq57xlDnTh3lHN_363yKHdK7AUGwbK8M6UzW1wVV172_KSOCiigS0H_FM3gPOkA9ywxWv5po/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+Michal+Marcol+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEdCYG8u7zi0XXKwuHOdIlNZdTHvlvXeaW0_b9-CnhTwZX2S3f8YICNQs-qEMgXu4XcZQncq57xlDnTh3lHN_363yKHdK7AUGwbK8M6UzW1wVV172_KSOCiigS0H_FM3gPOkA9ywxWv5po/s320/Image+courtesy+of+Michal+Marcol+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of Michal Marcol - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="237" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"You suck."</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We now had a younger son – let’s call him Fred
– who had started kindergarten that year. Because the Universe has a weird
sense of humor, little Fred had also been kicked out of his daycare at age
three and was diagnosed with ADHD. He would get over-stimulated and lash out,
in one instance forcing the teachers to evacuate the classroom and restrain him
to prevent any injuries to himself or his classmates. So I was now receiving
emails and phone calls nearly every day from TWO schools. To say I was
overwhelmed and desperate doesn’t even begin to cover it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I worked in a law firm as a paralegal, and
there was no way for me to continue working and parenting my boys. The longer I
attempted to find a balance, the worse both areas of my life became. One day, I
had a moment of real clarity, and I quit. I have been home for almost four
years now. We eat a lot of ramen noodles.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDge-Ebv8AliyxORM4p7uBi-Znrb28ezZzqUczFhzJm5D07Bh0ZWtpYpzDkeMruGiT1q8K94r6GzyQSDJiUpc0_DebOePLZFw47l8GTZThyrT3LTppCyxSBKw74c76eZIGmxZsnURq0u3p/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+artemisphoto+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDge-Ebv8AliyxORM4p7uBi-Znrb28ezZzqUczFhzJm5D07Bh0ZWtpYpzDkeMruGiT1q8K94r6GzyQSDJiUpc0_DebOePLZFw47l8GTZThyrT3LTppCyxSBKw74c76eZIGmxZsnURq0u3p/s320/Image+courtesy+of+artemisphoto+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of artemisphoto - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="212" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">One of the things we have always been aware
of is Steve’s staggering intellect. This kid is flat-out brilliant. Any adult
who sits down and speaks with him is completely blown away. There was no way I
was going to let him fall through the cracks and waste all that beautiful
potential and unique genius. I’ve kept talking to specialists, talking to him,
and just being present. We found him a wonderful private school that boasted a
one-of-a-kind integrated autism program, and he blossomed. After two years
there, he was accepted to one of the most challenging private high schools in
the area.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Today, Steve is a sophomore at that school.
He is both thriving and struggling. We are beyond fortunate that this school
understands that high-functioning autism isn’t just an excuse. The teachers and
staff recognize the potential in him, and they bend and adjust to allow him to
achieve. He is happy there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">However.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Steve began having crippling anxiety attacks
that made doing his homework impossible, and occasionally interfered with his
performance in the classroom. At first, we attempted to help him with a mild anti-anxiety
medication, but when he began to exhibit signs of clinical depression, I was on
the phone looking for a therapist without hesitation. I knew what this meant. I
knew the cliff’s edge he was peering over, and I would not let him fall.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSPkmYNNn5a7spaUUNbN3yjs9jakJZq1vgOn-Ppp2kfvbBiMjz7HvxS_ER67E4CdjIUxOJl4q17IhLWDZn5rnX_n-u9u0uw26TZsxc-YXliu1WzOJ_Frpbyr0qaK_AZfZXrK02zclIY9M4/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+-Marcus-+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSPkmYNNn5a7spaUUNbN3yjs9jakJZq1vgOn-Ppp2kfvbBiMjz7HvxS_ER67E4CdjIUxOJl4q17IhLWDZn5rnX_n-u9u0uw26TZsxc-YXliu1WzOJ_Frpbyr0qaK_AZfZXrK02zclIY9M4/s320/Image+courtesy+of+-Marcus-+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of -Marcus- / FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We have learned a lot from his therapy
sessions. In order to make it a safe place for him to speak freely, I am not in
the session with him, and his therapist does not share anything Steve tells him
without Steve’s permission. One revelation was that Steve’s mind works entirely
by association. This explains his flair for maths and languages. It was the
source of his academic strength.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It was also his weakness. Steve’s memory
associated homework with the trauma he experienced during that nightmare 6th<sup></sup>
grade year, and the only way to correct that would be to slowly replace the
association with more positive memories. We’re still working on that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am attempting to ignore the boiling rage at
what that school did to my son. They took a child who already faced too many
obstacles, and they broke him. Yep. Pure rage.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7PoHlXwGadyUWP5-H-UzrtB5AHXGP45Do4TqlezVBhmo91KYNCjyH7ZVqv_z9nQ9DlrdehtrNOqAVea5rL0E-UUYb3zOABBRATlspRzrxpcZyZkLGsen3r0wfcm65bGZvJbK2PMYw3m_b/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+chrisroll+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7PoHlXwGadyUWP5-H-UzrtB5AHXGP45Do4TqlezVBhmo91KYNCjyH7ZVqv_z9nQ9DlrdehtrNOqAVea5rL0E-UUYb3zOABBRATlspRzrxpcZyZkLGsen3r0wfcm65bGZvJbK2PMYw3m_b/s320/Image+courtesy+of+chrisroll+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of chrisroll - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The psychologist spoke in awed terms about
Steve’s intelligence and inventiveness. I suppose to the parent of a
neuro-typical child it would be a source of pride. The level of brilliance the
psychologist described to me would grind every PTA parent’s honor student
bumper sticker to dust. And of course I am proud of everything that Steve has
accomplished and the man he is becoming, but one fact remains. He is still
dangerously depressed.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So this is my life. I work from home as an
editor and author, and I advocate for my children. Fred needs speech therapy
and is refusing to complete assigned class work. I’m emailing teachers and
consulting with intervention specialists and trying to get him an orthodontist.
Steve has to take anti-anxiety medication to even face making a list of his
nightly homework, and I help keep the tasks small and manageable by parceling
it out to him in tiny pieces, concealing the overwhelming whole. He was sent
home yesterday at first period because his teacher saw he was too depressed to
face the day. Other parents get calls from the school nurse. I get calls from
the school counselor. I take a deep breath and call the psychologist and ask
for an extra session. I call the psychiatrist to discuss adjusting his
medication. I email the school to let them know how Steve’s treatment is
changing and what new techniques we are trying.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsUMu5uiqTml1bc0O4rdUU7DQziOH10j7th1368F0zmM4KU51xMocqZthID4F9cTWW6Nurv8XzQnXVQJaS5PjKIK6QC5a5PzkKkHgcfMXBM8NPpyDuDpM9b5eSFabMEn9wHz50aUiQ4sVX/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+David+Castillo+Dominici+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsUMu5uiqTml1bc0O4rdUU7DQziOH10j7th1368F0zmM4KU51xMocqZthID4F9cTWW6Nurv8XzQnXVQJaS5PjKIK6QC5a5PzkKkHgcfMXBM8NPpyDuDpM9b5eSFabMEn9wHz50aUiQ4sVX/s320/Image+courtesy+of+David+Castillo+Dominici+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net+3.jpg" title="Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This is the reality of autism. My son is on
the high-functioning end of the spectrum. Unless you’re looking for it, it’s
hard to notice the signs in his appearance or behavior. Like the depression that
I know will never completely leave me, my child has an invisible burden, but he
carries it with assurance and patience. He knows I understand, and he knows I’ve
got his back. He also knows that not everyone will believe that his autism is
real. He knows that some people will tell him to “just cheer up” and “stop freaking
out.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">All I can do is keep the lines of
communication open. I listen, support, and encourage. I am honest with him.
Watching me accept and take pride in the weird, quirky person I am has taught
him to do the same. He told me one day that he felt sorry for normal people who
didn’t have a cool family like ours. I told him to be patient with them,
because they didn’t see all the amazing things we could, and that made it hard
for them to understand our world. I taught him that no one is better than
anyone else, and that we’re all on a journey to find the best in ourselves. And
then he told me the most terrifying thing of all:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The day I quit my job to stay home and help
him and his brother was the day he stopped contemplating suicide as a solution
to his problems, because now Mom was on his side.</span></div>
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</div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I never knew, and that makes my heart go
cold. My number one fear – the thing that can tear me apart with just a thought
– is losing my children. To lose him to other people’s ignorance, vanity, and
misplaced sense of discipline would kill the person I am and shatter the person
I strive to be.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJH1VgNoDZWgEPIz2OB3M0P7wD8VunbK9HDsEvpPh76vwYrSok-otKo3pyPcHS6WStTBU2UjY5TStMgTapb-K4LK-apX4055GTSnxzleid7U8COukyJ6T_kYorUWp1zyqHLvOK55Wa38Br/s1600/Image+courtesy+of+Sira+Anamwong+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJH1VgNoDZWgEPIz2OB3M0P7wD8VunbK9HDsEvpPh76vwYrSok-otKo3pyPcHS6WStTBU2UjY5TStMgTapb-K4LK-apX4055GTSnxzleid7U8COukyJ6T_kYorUWp1zyqHLvOK55Wa38Br/s320/Image+courtesy+of+Sira+Anamwong+-+FreeDigitalPhotos.net.jpg" title="Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong - FreeDigitalPhotos.net" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So that’s why I am writing all of this out
and posting it for the world to see (or at least the ten people who read my
blog). This is why autism awareness is critical. No one is asking you to
understand it. No one is asking you to <i>understand</i> diabetes, depression, bipolar
disorder, or any other of the scores of invisible hurdles that so many children
and adults must overcome.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Just be aware that the reality of living with
these challenges is more than you can imagine. Be aware that telling a parent
who has struggled for years to keep their child whole that they’re doing it
wrong is an insult and cruel. Be aware that, even though you can’t see physical symptoms, the pain is still very real, and the risk of fatality is realer still.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">That’s all you need to do. If you can’t
understand, at least <i>be aware</i>.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Thank you for reading.</span></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-34640736719130562872013-11-29T01:00:00.000-05:002013-11-29T01:00:06.345-05:00Reprint: M.C. Rayne Blog Guest Post<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Here's another "reissued"
guest blog post while I'm tied up with editing. This particular entry was originally posted on August 4, 2013,
on M.C. Rayne's b</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">log in support of my newest release, <i>Wishing Cotton</i>. I was very appreciative of the opportunity and am
grateful to M.C. Rayne for hosting me. I'm
providing
the link to the original posting below; I encourage you to check out his
blog!</span></div>
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><b><u>Simple Storytelling</u></b></span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
short story is often difficult to talk about in-depth simply due to its
brevity, and so readers may wonder why an author would choose not to expand a
tale into a full-length novel. As writers of flash fiction will tell you, it is
possible to create a whole, breathing, vibrant world in very few words, and
short stories are often more complex than their lengthier counterparts. My
previous short story, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My Apple Tree</i>,
actually told two separate stories that covered a great deal of time and
incorporated several different characters. However, I have elected to keep my
new short story, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing Cotton</i>, very
simple and uncomplicated.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In
my experience, it is the little moments in a story that resonate the strongest
with readers rather than the entire plot as a whole. Readers want, of course,
to be engaged throughout the full length of the tale, whether it be a novel or
a short story. However, a story’s success often hinges on just a paragraph or
two – sometimes only one sentence. I’m not pretending to have a powerful,
magical moment like that, but it does support the theory that a story does not
need to be complicated to be enjoyable.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing Cotton</i> is by far the simplest
story I’ve ever written (as an adult, anyway). On its face, it introduces us to
three characters: Olive Alexander, her friend Blair Adams, and Peter Keyes.
Olive and Blair are vacationing together in a cabin by the beach, and Peter has
likewise rented one of his own. All three characters are at a moment in their
lives when they must make some decision about where they will go from here.
Olive is adjusting after the end of a long-term relationship, Blair is
struggling against her need for financial security, and Peter is living under
the shadow of a professional failure. While each of them responds in their
unique way to their challenges, none of these scenarios are unusual. We can
understand the emotions behind their situations because each is something that
almost everyone has experienced in their lives. By not focusing on the
particulars of the back story, we are able to see the commonalities that
resonate with our own experiences.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Likewise,
it is the simplicity of this story that allows the reader to see the true
lessons that can be taken from each small development in the plot. In order to
move forward, the characters must be honest with themselves and identify what
is most important to each of them. Until they do this, each of them is trapped
in a moment of indecision. If the overarching story were more complex, this
essential detail would be lost, but without anything to distract from it, the
reader is fully aware of the truth behind each character’s ultimate wish.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
will admit that it is somewhat daunting to present such a basic,
straightforward plot. The modern trend favors more dramatic and tempestuous
story lines. However, as with any other manuscript I’ve worked on, the central
idea and the characters engaged and intrigued me, and I felt that their
experiences, however simple, deserved to be brought to life. Authors – like any
creative professionals – need to continually stretch and develop their skill,
and I have found that writing a simple story is far more challenging than I
would have anticipated.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing Cotton</i> is being released on July
23, 2013, by Renaissance Romance Publishing. I hope that readers will enjoy my
effort at simple storytelling!</div>
</span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://simplymcrayne.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/elizabeth-m-lawrence-heat-wave-guest.html">M.C. Rayne 8/4/13 Guest Blog</a></span>Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-51569344506365365592013-11-22T01:00:00.000-05:002013-11-22T01:00:08.535-05:00Reprint: Mich's Book Reviews Blog Guest Post<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Here's another "reissued"
guest blog post while I'm tied up with editing. This particular entry was originally posted on July 29, 2013,
on Mich's Book Reviews b</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">log in support of my newest release, <i>Wishing Cotton</i>. I was very appreciative of the opportunity and am
grateful to Mich for hosting me. I'm
providing
the link to the original posting below; I encourage you to check out her
blog!</span><br />
<br />
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<b><u>How important is the setting
of your story to the journey taken by your main characters?</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In
general, setting always has some sort of impact on a story. Characters are
bound by the setting, interact with it, and are influenced by it in much the
same way that a real life person might be inspired in a cathedral and depressed
while sitting in an office cubicle. In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing
Cotton, </i>the setting is in many ways responsible for the events that
influence the characters’ choices and behaviors. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The three main
characters – Olive, Blair, and Peter – are all on vacation, staying in separate
beachfront cabins. Given the time to relax and reflect, each character comes to
identify what one thing he or she feels is missing. It is while lounging in the
sun that Olive first begins to ponder the nature of wishes, following a train
of thought she would not have pursued if they were visiting a more active
location. The setting provides her with the opportunity to exercise her
imagination. Likewise, normally-practical Blair unwinds enough to agree to help
with her friend’s fanciful experiment, even though it seems silly to her. Her
surroundings have mellowed her so that she can have this experience as well.</span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
The setting can
also be said to be responsible for bringing the romantic element to life. It is
because of the very peacefulness of their hideaways that all three must seek
out more stimulating surroundings. The women and Peter would not encounter each
other if the local carnival was not the sole option for activity in that area. For
Peter, the carnival is an opportunity to observe human nature and seek
inspiration. For Olive and Blair, it offers the prospect of fun and
entertainment. Three people looking for such different things would not encounter
each other if they were in a different setting that offered more options. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
The setting
affects the overall tone of the story, as well. It supports the light-hearted
feel of the characters’ interactions. What would be difficult to imagine in a
more day-to-day setting becomes believable in the context of summer vacation.
It evokes memories of childhood games and having the freedom to choose any
future you want. Even when dealing with the unpleasantness of reality, the
characters are given the chance to process their feelings through a filter.
They can contemplate the unpleasantness in their lives without feeling it too
much, because for their immediate future, they are in an environment in which
there are few potential problems they must confront. Their lives are on hold,
so they can stop and live in the moment. This is a phenomenon that would not
occur had they selected a different setting for their getaway time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
The importance
of setting to the story may be subtle in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing
Cotton, </i>but it is nonetheless a major influence on the characters. A visit
to New York City or a ski trip would not have provided the circumstances
necessary for the characters to think, react, and interrelate as they do at
their beachside hideaway. I tried to bring that setting and the atmosphere it
creates to life for the reader, as well, and I hope that I was successful. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing Cotton </i>is being released July
23, 2013, by Renaissance Romance Publishing, and I hope readers will enjoy
visiting the setting I’ve created for my characters.</div>
</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://michbookreviews.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/heat-wave-guest-posts/">Mich's Book Reviews 7/29/2013 Guest Blog</a>Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-26616734314696786292013-11-12T01:00:00.000-05:002013-11-12T01:00:03.985-05:00Reprint: From the desk of... R.E. Hargrave Blog Guest Post<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Here's another "reissued"
guest blog post while I'm tied up with editing. This particular entry was originally posted on July 30, 2013,
on the From the Desk of... R.E. Hargrave b</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">log in support of my newest release, <i>Wishing Cotton</i>. I was very appreciative of the opportunity and am
grateful to R.E. Hargrave for hosting me. I'm
providing
the link to the original posting below; I encourage you to check out her
blog!</span><br />
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><b><u>Discuss three things that
readers would be surprised to know about you. </u></b></span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I’m
not sure that there is anything genuinely surprising about me, but I’ll give it
a shot. To be honest, I have a tendency to over-share that makes keeping things
hidden rather difficult. One must also consider what sorts of things would be
surprising: my writing life or my “real” life. Let’s see what I come up with.</span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span>
<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Back
when I knew nothing about the publishing world or the reality of a writer’s life,
I used to envision published authors as boldly striding towers of
self-confidence. To be fair, it’s difficult to picture Shakespeare or Tolstoy
or Byron or whomever having fits of insecurity. But they must have done. Every
writer I have spoken to has said the same thing. Seeing your words in print is
exciting, of course, but it also feels like you have left the house in your
unmentionables and not much else. It exposes you in a way that is unique to the
creative world. Many people have been surprised that I experience this as well.
Since I serve as lead editor for Renaissance Romance Publishing, there is an
expectation of self-confidence that goes along with the job. Sure, I am
confident when I’m slicing into someone else’s baby. My own stories, on the other
hand… Even a cover reveal or an announcement of an upcoming release fills my
soul with dread. There are moments when I want to take it back and tell the
publisher I was just kidding. It’s pitiful. Still, I do manage to control those
insecure impulses and carry on with my work.</span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Another
thing about me that might surprise people is that I am not an especially
emotional person. Romance novels, by definition, deal with deep and often
turbulent emotions, and the characters need to reveal their feelings through
their words and actions. In real life, I am much more buttoned down. Both sides
of my family shy away from emotional displays, so I suppose I just grew up in a
less demonstrative environment. It seems strange to some people who know me in
real life that a person like me would find romance an appealing genre, but it’s
a mistake to equate lack of public expression with lack of comprehension. I do
feel things very deeply, and I understand human emotion. All the same, it can
be difficult to reconcile the real-life persona with the written word, and I
think people who know me through my writing are surprised when they actually
speak to me and find out I’m a much different person than the characters in my
books.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I
don’t know if this counts as “surprising,” but I have background knowledge in a
very hodgepodge collection of subjects. Over the years, I have received at
least rudimentary training in ballet, violin, piano, voice, drawing, Egyptian
funereal art, theater, British literature, art history, business management,
various areas of law, gothic architecture, Catholicism, Judaism, Methodism,
Norse mythology, middle English verse, pottery, literary theory, American and
British history, archeoastronomy, etymology, and Native American spirituality.
All of this means that at any given moment, I may spit out a completely random
fact on an obscure subject. My husband treats me like a walking Encyclopedia
Britannica. To balance this out, I am completely useless at the most basic
tasks like cooking, cleaning, and shopping. Friends have commented from time to
time that I know more than they do, but I still envy all of them their ability
to boil an egg without setting their homes on fire.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So
that’s it – the three most surprising things about me I can think of! Thank you
for reading, and I hope you’ll also read and enjoy my story “Wishing Cotton,”
which is being released July 23, 2013, as part of the Heat Wave anthology from
Renaissance Romance Publishing.</div>
</span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.rehargrave.com/2013/07/elizabeth-m-lawrence-heat-wave-blog-tour.html">R.E. Hargrave Guest Post 7/30/2013</a></span></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-52152846155107675682013-11-01T01:00:00.000-04:002013-11-01T01:00:06.841-04:00Reprint: N. Wood Blog Guest Post<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Here's another "reissued"
guest blog post while I'm tied up with editing. This particular entry was originally posted on July 23, 2013,
on the Romance Stories by N. Wood b</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">log in support of my newest release, <i>Wishing Cotton</i>. I was very appreciative of the opportunity and am
grateful to N. Wood for hosting me. I'm
providing
the link to the original posting below; I encourage you to check out her
blog!</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><u>The Use of Comedy in the
Romance Genre</u></b></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Aficionados
of the romance genre are well aware that influences from other genres have a
tendency to sneak in. There are paranormal romances, historical romances,
mystery romances, science fiction romances, and maybe even steampunk dystopian
voodoo monkey romances (I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did</i> say
“maybe” there). I love these kinds of blended stories, because it makes for a
richer reading experience. Let’s face it: when you pick up a contemporary
romance, there won’t be a lot of surprises inside. You may have a wonderful
romantic tale of love, betrayal, and forgiveness, but at its heart, you know
you are reading a story that will end with the lovers united and possibly some
celebratory hanky-panky. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’ve
read some really well-written and gripping contemporary romances that didn’t
have as much as a whiff of genre comingling.</span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span>
<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">That
being said, I have to admit that I have a special place in my heart for
romances that incorporate elements of other genres. It’s like finding out that
your steak comes with mashed potatoes and gravy. It’s the moment when the
manager sends you a free desert on the house, and it happens to be something
awash in chocolate sauce and maybe a little vanilla ice cream.</span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I
really should have had dinner before I wrote this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Getting
back to my ever-elusive point, one element that can be fun to incorporate into
a romance novel is comedy. Anyone who has seen <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Thin Man</i> with William Powell and Myrna Loy will appreciate how
wonderfully comedy can be used to offset more serious, dramatic moments. If
anything, I believe the contrast comedy provides can allow you to make the dark
scenes even darker. Comedy gives the author a way to continually dangle the
reader over a dramatic cliff, not letting go until the moment the reader least
expects. It makes the fall so much more thrilling. It’s the difference between going
to a Broadway show (a perfectly pleasant experience) and having a stranger walk
up to you at 3:00 on a Tuesday afternoon to drag you into <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Phantom of the Opera</i>-themed flashmob (something you will never
forget and will recount at cocktail parties for years to come).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Laughter
shared between fictional characters also makes the romantic aspect more
believable. If a hero and heroine are content to cling to each other and weep
tears of longing at each other, their emotional connection will lack
plausibility. Of course, as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wuthering
Heights</i> has shown us, two absolutely miserable and unlikeable characters
can communicate believable, even overpowering, love and passion. But <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wuthering Heights</i> isn’t really a “feel
good” novel, so I’m going to callously ignore it. My literature professors
don’t know where I live anymore, so I think I’ll get away with it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
My
story <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing Cotton</i> is being
released on July 23, 2013, by Renaissance Romance Publishing. People who read
my last release <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My Apple Tree</i> may be
surprised at the difference in tone between the two stories. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing Cotton</i> is intended to be the
sort of light-hearted story that you might enjoy while lounging by the pool on
a warm summer day, and I’ve incorporated many comedic elements into my
storytelling. I hope that readers will enjoy a few chuckles while my characters
try to find love.</div>
</span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://nwoodstories.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/heat-wave-elizabeth-m-lawrence.html">Guest Post on Romance Stories by N. Wood Blog</a></span>Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-44054167514560704652013-10-04T08:12:00.000-04:002013-10-04T08:12:40.347-04:00The Minor Character<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In many ways, the minor character
is sometimes easily forgotten. The gregarious taxi driver, the helpful woman at
the store, the nosy coworker, and the grumpy neighbor all have their parts to
play, but the reader tends to not give much thought to these brief appearances.
So why incorporate them at all?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I think it’s not hard to
understand that the reader’s experience of a novel and the author’s experience
while writing it differ quite a bit. One thing that the average reader may not
realize is that no character appears in a story without a distinct purpose. Any
novelist worth his or her salt will pay exacting attention to every facet of
the novel, including the minor characters. There must be a reason for a
particular character to appear in the narrative, and the presentation of that
character must maintain a balance that is consistent with his or her importance
to the action and development of the story. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Truth Seekers</i>, Mrs. Olivia MacDonald serves as the necessary
chaperone for her young friend, and so must be blended into the scenes in which
she appears. She herself is not a major player, and her voice must not be
allowed to overshadow those of the main characters. However, at certain points
her actions move the narrative forward, so we need to see enough of her to have
a sense of who she is as a person. By way of contrast, the existence of the male
lead’s friend John needs to be established, but we don’t need to interact with
him a great deal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing Cotton</i>, Olive meets Mr. J.P. Croupington (“Pinger” to his
friends). This character’s importance begins and ends with the scene in which
he appears. So why have him at all? He helps to provide comic relief, but his
conversation with Olive also works to create the mood needed for Olive’s
subsequent conversation with her friend Blair. So old Pinger provides a necessary
element to the narrative, but once his usefulness is at an end, he vanishes
from our view.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In the case of quiet John
mentioned above, a good deal of his lines were cut in order to achieve the
proper balance. Every time a character is introduced into the story, their
voice, opinions, and personality are also inserted. The people they are
influences the main characters on some level, but their appearance must blend
into the story. In other words, it is one thing to have the gregarious taxi
driver chat with the main character and give a suggestion that impacts that
character’s choice of destination. It is another thing altogether to allow the driver
to take center stage. We don't need to see the color of his eyes or have his life story laid out for us. A character that has such a limited part to play cannot be
allowed overshadow the main characters.</div>
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<br /></div>
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All the same, minor characters
are important, and often the author is able to provide gorgeous characterizations
that give the reader a firm grasp on the minor character before he or she walks
offstage. When the right balance is present, the minor character can be one of
the most vital elements in a novel.</div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-47065453028043617472013-09-29T00:14:00.002-04:002013-09-29T00:14:51.301-04:00The Three Little Pigs of Victorian London<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I was talking with my friend tonight about the various writing I've done over the years and how I have genre-jumped a bit. While I was reviewing some old files, I came across this little gem, which was the product of a novel-writing class I took a few years ago. The idea was for the entire class to present their version of the same story (in this case, The Three Little Pigs), but each person would write it in a different genre. I was assigned historical fiction, and this was the result:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span></span>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">“The Three Little Pigs of Victorian
London” – a work of Historical Fiction</span></b></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Oscar Wolf’s eyes narrowed and his
mouth twisted into a pained grimace as he walked through London’s blackened,
suffocating streets. The horror of the squalor surrounding him tugged at his
very core, aggressive in its absolute need to be recognized. It overwhelmed the
senses and unrepentantly squelched even the hardiest shred of hope that might attempt
to take root in the cracked and filth pavement. Such a landscape cried out
against those in power in tones both strident and unrelenting, and Wolf
responded by once more pledging himself to his work. Only anarchy could free
the downtrodden of England from the oppression and cruelly inequitable
treatment they had endured for so long. He had sworn to become an agent of
destruction and to demonstrate with ruthless tenacity how ineffectual and
powerless government truly was in the face of the deterioration of the
currently established social system.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The worn leather of his boots creaked
as he continued down the stinking, soot-stained streets until he stood before a
ramshackle house that appeared to have been constructed from nothing but straw.
This, he knew, was the home of John Pig, an unskilled laborer who worked in a
textile mill along with his wife and five children. If Wolf and his associates
were to gain a foothold within the ranks of the factory workers, the support of
men such as Mr. Pig was essential. With a resolute step, Wolf stepped up to the
tightly-woven straw door, but he could not identify a surface sturdy enough
upon which to knock. This slight obstacle did not deter him, however, and he
called out to announce his presence. </span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>“John
Pig! I must speak with you!”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>A rustle
and a thump preceded Pig’s reply. “Aye? Who be ye?” asked a grating voice.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>“My name
is Oscar Wolf,” he responded. “I wish to speak with you concerning the mill.”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>“Oh?”
came the voice again, now heavy with suspicion. “And what is the mill to ye,
then?”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>“Your
employer is notorious for demanding twelve-hour days from his workers, even the
children. We wish to push him to increase wages, as well as reduce the
hours...”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>“Oh,
shove off,” Pig interrupted. “You be nothin’ but trouble. I won’t be caught
talkin’ to the likes of you!”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>“Mr.
Pig, you <i>must</i> listen!” Wolf pressed
on. “The revolution is at hand! Now is the time for the workers to throw off
the shackles of middle class oppression and expose the government’s hypocrisy!
I must warn you – if you are not with us, you are against us!”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The door swung open abruptly,
revealing a large, weather-beaten man, his muscled forearms folded
uncompromisingly across his chest. “I told you to shove off! We’ll have none of
your huffing and puffing here! You got no right coming here and makin’ trouble
for my family. We be decent folk, and not afraid of hard work. Now, off with
ya. I’ve been savin’ up to take the little ones to the penny theater, and I
ain’t gonna let the likes of you get in the way!” Pig pushed Wolf roughly aside
as he shouldered his way to the street, and a pale and painfully thin woman
followed behind dragging a string of young children along in her wake. <span> </span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Wolf’s face heated and his blood
pounded in his ears as he considered Pig’s obstinate refusal to listen. <span> </span>His next course of action was clear. As in the
case of any obstacle that prevented him from achieving his goal, his only
recourse was to remove that obstacle outright. He cast an expert eye over his
surroundings, needing to ensure adequate time to execute his plan. Once he was
satisfied that any interference would not be forthcoming, Wolf moved quickly,
his well-trained hands completing their tasks with only the smallest portion of
his concentration. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">When the explosion tore through the
straw house, sending ash and flaming tendrils of heated malice in all
directions, Wolf was already some distance away. He moved through the passages
of the city with confidence, easily avoiding detection by the constabulary,
should they deign to respond to an incident involving only a working-class
hovel. At length, his steps gradually slowed until stopping in front of a house
made of sticks. Once he had caught his breath, Wolf realized that he had fortuitously
located the home of George T. Hogge, the middle-class owner of the textile mill
at which the Pig family labored. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Wolf was filled with the
determination to take Hogge to task for the condition of his factory and the
poor wages and long hours to which his workers were subjected. Not
surprisingly, his demands to be given admittance were refused. Hogge deigned at
last to lean out of one stick-framed window in a final attempt to rid himself
of this nuisance. His brow was smooth and untroubled as he explained that he considered
himself a proponent of the principles of Utilitarianism, which supported his
belief that the benefits to his workers must outweigh the hardships. When Wolf
disagreed and made to debate the matter further, Hogge gave a negligent shrug
before asserting that if this were not the case, his workers would have already
revolted against the conditions at the mill. As they had not done so, Hogge
felt justified in his belief that any change would be unnecessary. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">“Take your huffing and puffing
elsewhere, Sir,” he said over his shoulder as he withdrew his head from the
window and disappeared from view.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Wolf’s further arguments were met
with silence until at last the housekeeper advised him as she made her way to
the shops that Hogge has left out the back door of the house with Missus and
young Master Hogge in order to attend a dinner party. It was the work of a
moment to prepare his fiery rebuttal to Mr. Hogge, and Wolf quickly fled the
environs as the house of sticks exploded, giving voice to his wrath and ire.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">When Wolf stopped in his headlong
flight to catch his breath, now satisfied that the authorities had been
successfully eluded, he found himself standing before a grand house of bricks
belonging to Sir Arthur Pemberton-Piglet, Earl of Bacon and member of the House
of Lords. Giving himself over entirely to the increasing frustrations of the
day, Wolf began pounding upon the ornate door, coherently if somewhat
frantically denouncing the government in general and Pemberton-Piglet in
particular for failing to institute even the most basic reforms and for
ignoring the plight of the country’s poor. He received no response from Pemberton-Piglet,
who was rather preoccupied with preparations for the ball being given that
evening to celebrate his daughter Penelope Pemberton-Piglet’s presentation to
society. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">While perfectly prepared to grapple
with malicious and rough treatment, Wolf’s entire frame trembled and his breath
came in shallow, uneven gasps at this blatant disregard. His voice cracked with
the fervor of his dedication as he called out a final warning to
Pemberton-Piglet. If he continued to ignore Wolf’s call for justice, judgment
would be rendered instantly – Wolf would not hesitate to incinerate the house
and its inhabitants without a qualm.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">From within his mortared walls, Pemberton-Piglet
snorted in derision at this hollow threat before summoning the police, who
easily apprehended the distracted and increasingly unstable Wolf. Vast
quantities of incendiary devices were removed from his person before his
writhing body was confined in chains and relocated to the nearest prison, where
he was able to indulge in unrelenting self-flagellation and frustrated huffing
and puffing to his heart’s content for many years thereafter. <span> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Penelope Pemberton-Piglet’s ball, on
the other hand, was an unqualified success.</span></span></span></div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-28448823830909468642013-07-31T02:13:00.000-04:002013-07-31T03:07:29.143-04:00It's That Time Again!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So. Birthday post. What shall we talk about?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6HwfMGYPlEVJ0nVxQm4d-59DhL1ONwOg7Po34v_7yioFNvtNjbKRUskMeBhSSDqJiG9JwxU36zvq8ClTZDfXwlPAxK5xi96wYo39uHzDHO95DbnbJfYkszrMcKE8isL1DggCUfj70brwn/s1600/cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6HwfMGYPlEVJ0nVxQm4d-59DhL1ONwOg7Po34v_7yioFNvtNjbKRUskMeBhSSDqJiG9JwxU36zvq8ClTZDfXwlPAxK5xi96wYo39uHzDHO95DbnbJfYkszrMcKE8isL1DggCUfj70brwn/s320/cake.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Over the past year, I published two short stories: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My Apple Tree</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishing Cotton</i>. Exciting stuff. I’ve discovered through this
process that I am more self-conscious of my writing than I’d actually realized.
Nothing strikes terror in my breast like putting my work out there for people
who don’t owe me favors, loyalty, or money to critique. That fear has always
been a challenge I’ve struggled to overcome. The biggest source of pride for me
is that I’ve published at all; I’ve left the safety of my computer files and
journals and opened myself up for criticism. Even if no one ever reads my
books, releasing them into the wild is a pretty big accomplishment all by
itself.</div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdwRjtiJO2_Be3DvABE2Aj2qP8T6ZuQuxWugc7pHFNtC9bpY4QIEWK54OsNruj_7yqVPrPzyQwUedmElA8WcvZW5qPNp4l3sqk7XPE5LA61sjrHPWcP0getCxUzxjSmQDQ0QTsVae-OBCR/s1600/My+Apple+Tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdwRjtiJO2_Be3DvABE2Aj2qP8T6ZuQuxWugc7pHFNtC9bpY4QIEWK54OsNruj_7yqVPrPzyQwUedmElA8WcvZW5qPNp4l3sqk7XPE5LA61sjrHPWcP0getCxUzxjSmQDQ0QTsVae-OBCR/s320/My+Apple+Tree.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgocvVLtlcoCt3wPYsUuo7QUgxrht9QRHSAXjRcDNLOsGTnOAVMpNSQ6pysTVoTnuEFlQi3FnQRFPlKGUFe24MLGBc4KtzrHF9byNDa0rwd9Dwe8bsDt3pFPT69xTTvUBQplIKygLSpFXgX/s1600/WC_Draft1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgocvVLtlcoCt3wPYsUuo7QUgxrht9QRHSAXjRcDNLOsGTnOAVMpNSQ6pysTVoTnuEFlQi3FnQRFPlKGUFe24MLGBc4KtzrHF9byNDa0rwd9Dwe8bsDt3pFPT69xTTvUBQplIKygLSpFXgX/s320/WC_Draft1.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_944506682"></span><span id="goog_944506683"></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I’ve also started edits on my first full-length novel, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Truth Seekers</i>. It’s an historical
romance, most likely my one and only. I’m planning to settle down after this. I’m
getting too old to bounce around from style to style, so it’s time to commit.
All the same, I’ve done a ridiculous amount of work on this book, so it would
feel wrong not to share it in a final display of sowing my wild oats. I only
hope it doesn’t suck, but that’s a question to answer in my NEXT birthday post.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLULl2oJXHwdLAfGzkp5jXGUwu9pIHt77Kwbg1oz8HHsGlBC70WODwVHwMNUahqMnUEM7RjAp7lBxE4ST6tIJDyIUJfhP14AjfQaug_uhlEjYDFyS-m9t299OTBfQ0HQuF4CkWIsBaCYvD/s1600/TTS_front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLULl2oJXHwdLAfGzkp5jXGUwu9pIHt77Kwbg1oz8HHsGlBC70WODwVHwMNUahqMnUEM7RjAp7lBxE4ST6tIJDyIUJfhP14AjfQaug_uhlEjYDFyS-m9t299OTBfQ0HQuF4CkWIsBaCYvD/s320/TTS_front.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just lie and tell me it's brilliant.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
My older son finished his freshman year of high school,
making it onto the second honors roll despite all the nay-sayers who said that
an autistic kid would never make it in a challenging, private college-prep school. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj48GTA17USH61J-PIpD-taaHPS5r5wqmEZkN31yapxbKsU4MekgydVy8I9A6N2XazTj2jN_r1Q4gptYpHerlrFDqVPELn0V25BneTIsmCNzJLz6HDZvRc9oO8Y4TitIVeV-lIeHy8-Ns1G/s1600/Iggy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj48GTA17USH61J-PIpD-taaHPS5r5wqmEZkN31yapxbKsU4MekgydVy8I9A6N2XazTj2jN_r1Q4gptYpHerlrFDqVPELn0V25BneTIsmCNzJLz6HDZvRc9oO8Y4TitIVeV-lIeHy8-Ns1G/s320/Iggy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Captain, my captain.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So nyah-nyah. It wasn’t easy, but as people are discovering about me, I would fight
to the death for my kids. I don’t let anyone place limits on my boys – even themselves.
Still, I have to admit that his next milestone fills my soul with dread. It’s
time for him to learn to drive. Pray to your gods, people. This will be
interesting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIGuvpJbnHHnHPPqJeGqkKZ_mVgA9UZRyLYWYKBNx8OmC7dSZhZc62p6iSFzL45znqsBSjCqblFUajqi9qcsoJn3xL9yLKwdJTIOYd5zvwhcrkQAc01bxwJeDE0eKlpGZM6WV-ovhuTFSc/s1600/Krosseel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIGuvpJbnHHnHPPqJeGqkKZ_mVgA9UZRyLYWYKBNx8OmC7dSZhZc62p6iSFzL45znqsBSjCqblFUajqi9qcsoJn3xL9yLKwdJTIOYd5zvwhcrkQAc01bxwJeDE0eKlpGZM6WV-ovhuTFSc/s320/Krosseel.jpg" title="Photo by Krosseel" width="227" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Please, don't let him see a squirrel..."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
His little brother, Shorty, finished third grade in one
piece. We have some concerns with his development, but that’s a battle we’ll
start fighting again once school is back in session this autumn. Shorty is now
having a blast at theater camp, and really, what’s the point of being a child
if you can’t enjoy it? We’ll cross the appropriate bridges when we come to
them. In the meantime, I’m looking forward to his first public performance next
week.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif5zUtKtXM6hZI4JmgRZ2iQTrA7RrzxfUjXmvaSbcaOIQ7xF6yK6bAM1sB5KGSvfcW-MuHjc2FqqIfUxU6L6HUXeKNTo2DPa19GCtQWH2p0Ipdxq_ueSntOtYHB2xsico2-8-FTLCACrTK/s1600/Clarita.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif5zUtKtXM6hZI4JmgRZ2iQTrA7RrzxfUjXmvaSbcaOIQ7xF6yK6bAM1sB5KGSvfcW-MuHjc2FqqIfUxU6L6HUXeKNTo2DPa19GCtQWH2p0Ipdxq_ueSntOtYHB2xsico2-8-FTLCACrTK/s320/Clarita.jpg" title="Photo by Clarita" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The venue will be slightly less glamorous than this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I became an aunt for the first time, which was really
lovely. Although we haven’t met Minna in person yet, we are planning to spoil
her like mad. Being an only child, I have always wondered if I would get the
opportunity to be someone’s “cool aunt.” Here’s my chance!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhONA6vRCeeh39HiVV3ceIK-Ef89wGvLIPb0W0WQtlyXOrhcvZQeMeyK-0Jkoi_RCJkfxDO9YnmxeC-aJgmLZACTUVWmEwPsK7_GzsZAN7eADFfKPzZNuqra_dHmRyyUyYHH5GEHhEpcwKs/s1600/Keyseeker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhONA6vRCeeh39HiVV3ceIK-Ef89wGvLIPb0W0WQtlyXOrhcvZQeMeyK-0Jkoi_RCJkfxDO9YnmxeC-aJgmLZACTUVWmEwPsK7_GzsZAN7eADFfKPzZNuqra_dHmRyyUyYHH5GEHhEpcwKs/s320/Keyseeker.jpg" title="Photo by Keyseeker" width="280" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Okay, not THAT cool.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFkJb9GoCdSFfN6M20yuMRkXnnWyaiGj6j0ZaosjI64C2vDdo9TEnitK3ISnMatJDD8eCi1yX93KaHBPSGGvv3muh_R5C3bY142xabOTEgXrSQBUOfVaeqb2vcolkNDp9ieWMTjXoCSGaa/s1600/Ayndroid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFkJb9GoCdSFfN6M20yuMRkXnnWyaiGj6j0ZaosjI64C2vDdo9TEnitK3ISnMatJDD8eCi1yX93KaHBPSGGvv3muh_R5C3bY142xabOTEgXrSQBUOfVaeqb2vcolkNDp9ieWMTjXoCSGaa/s320/Ayndroid.jpg" title="Photo by Ayndroid" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Probably more like this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I got a tattoo on my last birthday, and while I’m not doing
that again this year, I did enjoy waiting for my parents to notice. They were
just two weeks shy of going a full year. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjRS336jE4IQGRBXAjkHZpN07lxMYE5HSMZkaUcYZlVdtUkMnI6662WplyU7-QjbMb06Ywoh3mU7Jkp_NGaaLb88zj-uERobLXRSlYcbMsCXm3M6rvV0klgyNye5ALjOhZW44pA9NI4z2/s1600/tumblr_mivjs971HV1rexo9wo6_r1_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjRS336jE4IQGRBXAjkHZpN07lxMYE5HSMZkaUcYZlVdtUkMnI6662WplyU7-QjbMb06Ywoh3mU7Jkp_NGaaLb88zj-uERobLXRSlYcbMsCXm3M6rvV0klgyNye5ALjOhZW44pA9NI4z2/s1600/tumblr_mivjs971HV1rexo9wo6_r1_250.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Way to miss the obvious.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
They have dealt with this heavy blow
by never mentioning it and pretending it never happened. I think I’ll give them a year off before I do
something that upsets their worldview again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTzHO8tCcOiPLG8yvz6vXCT_Ypiq1KZPERaf8giC3e0IBqkSoHClHXPSpPj3QXNWFgogntIBf2w2R0wmKHmr1wfGostZe8OiKTcwpZt8_RdqLvWWakthCyQk2glarxPIYzQwDSkVkpfitF/s1600/Tat2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTzHO8tCcOiPLG8yvz6vXCT_Ypiq1KZPERaf8giC3e0IBqkSoHClHXPSpPj3QXNWFgogntIBf2w2R0wmKHmr1wfGostZe8OiKTcwpZt8_RdqLvWWakthCyQk2glarxPIYzQwDSkVkpfitF/s320/Tat2.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not exactly subtle, either.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I have gotten sucked into the world of crowd-funded projects
this year. Many of you have seen my posts about The Minister of Chance, which
began life as a sonic adventure and is now morphing into a film. The initial
reason I loved this project so much was that it reminded me of the days when my
father would play tapes of the old radio shows he listened to as a child. The
imagination and imagery that went into some of those early productions has been
amplified by the Minister of Chance cast and crew. Even without taking into
account that this was a crowd-funded operation (and therefore wasn’t making
anyone rich), what they have accomplished is really remarkable. The six episodes
of the sonic series are available for free download on iTunes or the <a href="http://www.ministerofchance.com/">Minister of Chance website</a>. I can’t recommend it enough. The talent that has come
together to bring the Minister’s world to life is astounding, and the people
working on this project are just lovely, dedicated, welcoming, and brilliant
(as well as stunningly good looking).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAyi7CVQ0yqNNwkYgY_ae9feWOJCZCdTykukfByt2lX-42KaMYPxV798Ob_Mpn59xII-e0Z4SPLkBf2TfxeeHYIriVqIBd8MY0YhQ2RIj0PXJuPqi1p-bdNJEm45J123VcWFeatxux9WXO/s1600/MOC.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="372" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAyi7CVQ0yqNNwkYgY_ae9feWOJCZCdTykukfByt2lX-42KaMYPxV798Ob_Mpn59xII-e0Z4SPLkBf2TfxeeHYIriVqIBd8MY0YhQ2RIj0PXJuPqi1p-bdNJEm45J123VcWFeatxux9WXO/s640/MOC.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tell your friends! Hell, tell your enemies! We're not picky!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
This year, I’ve reconnected with old friends, made new
ones, and seen more of the amazing, screwy, wonderful, and insane place we call
Planet Earth. I’ve been bowled over by beauty, heartbroken by cruelty,
frustrated by ignorance, and frightened by risks. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I still have so much left to do. My husband tells me that I
really need to learn to cook eventually, and he wouldn’t mind if I actually
folded the laundry now and then. I need to learn the fine art of self-promotion
without incorporating an apology for my mediocrity at every opportunity. My computer
and I need to have more time apart, because there are some lovely people in my
life, and I should take more time to enjoy and appreciate them. My health needs
to be a bit more than an afterthought as I chug my eighth cup of coffee, too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
All the same, I’m proud of how I spent this year. It wasn’t
perfect, it wasn’t easy, but it took me further on my path. If I had to sum up
the theme of my fortieth year, I would say it was this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Make the scary choice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262824217798704837.post-48482321953540274222013-06-30T18:34:00.000-04:002013-07-03T19:04:17.460-04:00So I've started doing flash fiction...Flash fiction is one of those things that makes me feel like the hopeless old lady trying to understand how the Internet works. It's a new thing for me, and I have approached it with a certain measure of wariness. However, my hipper colleagues have encouraged me to give it a shot. I've now done a couple of these, and I thought I'd share them with the five people who read my blog.<br />
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<b>#1) Photograph</b><br />
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<a href="http://i938.photobucket.com/albums/ad226/Bertbomb/Phone%20pics/A64ADB25-9719-4199-8C69-BFD05CD36804-4748-000002EDC41D9D1F_zps6f1161f0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i938.photobucket.com/albums/ad226/Bertbomb/Phone%20pics/A64ADB25-9719-4199-8C69-BFD05CD36804-4748-000002EDC41D9D1F_zps6f1161f0.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<![endif]-->When she walked through the empty house, ghosts walked with
her and whispered to her of happy days and perseverance and that subtle
untouchable quality of moments only imagined. You could never know whether the
lives within these old walls were good ones. Did they love each other? Was
there music? And who picked out this linoleum and said: This is what I want my
children’s feet to walk across. Because she knew there had been children.
There, in a dusty corner, a forgotten shoe lay like an abandoned daydream. The
child who had fumbled to tie the sodden laces was long gone. He might be all
grown up by now, with a home and a child and linoleum of his own. Perhaps his
memories of life in this house were nothing but faded blurs, like photographs
left in the sun. Or perhaps he chose not to remember because sometimes the past
hurts too much. She was here now in his place, and although the rooms were
empty and echoing, she felt like an intruder. The sounds of her progress
through these forgotten spaces were loud in the stillness, making her intrusion
as harsh and unnatural as a barrage from invading cannons. It felt wrong to be
here, but this place was hers. She could either claim it and erase the dim
echoes with curtains and carpets, or she could surrender it to the hours and
years, this place would molder and rot and crumble until, forgotten by the
world – even forgotten by its ghosts – it was erased from the world entirely.
Maudlin thoughts on such a day. A stranger had died, and now she stood in a
home that was not hers. The ghosts within this space were not her own. She left
the child’s shoe on the ground. (14 June 2013)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>#2) "Smile like you mean it" - The Killers</b><br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You don’t have to buy it. You just have to sell it,” the
director reminded us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It
should have been so simple to imbue a feeling of heartache and remorse to the
piece he’d selected. It was a requiem – a general gnashing of teeth before a
divine entity that I neither believed in nor wanted to envision. Wasn’t death
enough heartache without comforting the bereaved with assurances of heavenly
judgment and retribution? I just couldn’t understand the appeal.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Still,
there was something attractive about the wild despair of the music. I couldn’t
deny it. It was appealing in a disturbing way, that self-indulgent
breast-beating and keening spectacle. A requiem. Such power, and such
helplessness. The staggering fear that accompanies our inevitable ends and the
unknown chasm that awaits us. That was not a difficult emotion to capture or
communicate.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
faith was the problem. That trembling, fervent belief that Jehovah would ride a
flaming chariot over the souls of the departed and somehow cast them down even
more. Eternal damnation and eternal salvation were too strange for me to grasp.
Did fear of death translate automatically to fear of all that was unknown about
the afterwards? Could any choir sing of salvation in such terrible octaves of joy
and terror and somehow mean it?</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
requiem ended with a benevolent whisper – a promise of release from care and
pain. This was the hardest part. More than kettle drum booming and trembling
soprano cries, it was the message of forgiveness and love that tripped me up
most. This was where faith was hardest. Could I believe that death brought such
ecstatic bliss? Could I bring that quiet assurance to an audience with any real
feeling?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Smile
like you mean it,” the director commanded. So I did.(30 June 2013)</div>
Mavvy Vasquezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733351935911184849noreply@blogger.com2